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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.

Some people believe that, advertisement makes people buy things which are unnecessary for us while I'm of the opinion that advertising gives us about new products which can influence our lives. This essay will look at both points of view. There are several the reasons why commercials encourages us to buy unnecessary items. First of all, companies try to advertise their products which are not really popular or have poor quality. For instance, I watched an advertising of fast food on TV. Fast food is unhealthy and it is not useful for us. Also there is no need to advertise fast food because all people know about it and it's already everywhere. Commercials of fast food don't help people to keep fit or to be healthy. Secondly, adverting useless things is a wasting of time and money. Because, one advertising isn't cheap companies and brands pay for it. If the advertisement is unsuccessful, it will affect product sales and the company. On the other hand, I would argue that advertising help us to know the new products in the market. One of the reasons is that it works as a basic tools for the public to know about new products. Nowadays, many new companies and brands are entering the market and the introducing new products to the people. If we do not have commercials it means that we will not know about these new products. Adverts are helping us to know about new products and their price. Moreover adverts are very significant source of income to the brands, companies. Many producers are making a lot of benefit from adverts. Adverts are also making a lot of money for reputation of brands and companies. In conclusion, I admit adverts promote useless things. But I wouldn't agree with this point, in my opinion adverts help us recognize the new products due to the reasons mentioned above.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that, advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things which are unnecessary for us while I'm of the opinion that advertising gives us about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which can influence our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This essay will look at both points of view. There are several the reasons why commercials encourages us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary items.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
,
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companies
try to advertise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are not
really
popular or have poor quality.
For instance
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
an advertising of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on TV.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
unhealthy and
it is not useful for us.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
there is no need to advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all
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people
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know
about
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
it's already everywhere. Commercials of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit or to be healthy.
Secondly
, adverting useless things is a wasting of time and money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, one advertising isn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
pay for it. If the advertisement is unsuccessful, it will affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
sales and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

On the other hand
, I would argue that advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the market. One of the reasons is that it works as a basic tools for the public to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
are entering the market and the introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
we do not have commercials it means that we will not
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know
about these
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Adverts are helping us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and their price.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
adverts are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant source of income to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
producers are making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefit from adverts. Adverts are
also
making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money for reputation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
In conclusion
, I admit adverts promote useless things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I wouldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point, in my opinion adverts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us recognize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
due to the reasons mentioned above.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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