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Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? mowO
In this modern day world advertising is the key to having information about all products in the market. It involves giving proper insight to what is needed in our day to day activities. I support the fact that advertising adds more value to our lives. Firstly discounted items on products are been advertised on newspapers, television, radio and internet. This gives proper description of what you need in at that moment. information not passed will make you get items at an expensive rate because you are not aware of which location and the stores which have reduced items. Secondly my experience in retail which is where I work made me to understand that all items advertised help people to know more on what they are getting compared to people who buy and at the end of the day they have no idea on what the product is good for which results in waste of money. In conclusion it is best to buy what has been advertised because they give insight on how it will benefit you.
In this modern day world advertising is the key to having information about all products in the market. It involves giving proper insight to what
is needed
in our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
activities. I support the fact that advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
more value to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Firstly
discounted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
on products
are been
advertised on newspapers, television, radio and internet. This gives proper description of what you need in at that moment.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
information
not passed will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
at an expensive rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you are not aware of which location and the stores which have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
.
Secondly
my experience in retail which is where I work made me to understand that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
advertised
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to know more on what they are getting compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day they have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
on what the product is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for which results in waste of money. In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, it".
conclusion it
is best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what has
been advertised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they give insight on how it will benefit you.

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
176 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.