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Question: the number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

Question: the number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved? dyMr
In today’s world, being healthy is vital. Rising number of people prone to develop major health issues owing to obesity are seen more often. Firstly, this essay will discuss on the underlying causes for gaining weight and in the latter half address a possible solution to overcome this issue. There are numerous factors responsible for general public to be overweight. To commence with, leading a sedentary lifestyle by most people in this modern society with not much physical activity greatly contributes to putting on weight. People nowadays are lethargic and spend their major time on watching television and being active on social media. To illustrate, during night-time people are involved actively on social application due to which their sleeping pattern are disturbed and sleeps at opposite hours. Additionally, diet is a key to health. There are various options available for food in market which makes people susceptible to consume in heavy quantity. For example, in every corner of cities people dine in restaurant or fast food such as burger, pizza and so on after shopping. Moreover, people get influences from YouTube food blogger who provides reviews and suggestion for the viewers and people taste them out of their curiosity. There are number of solutions to decrease such habits. Firstly, diet modification should be practice. People can seek some help from expert such as dietician to adapt a healthy diet and should adhere to it completely. Secondly, allocating some time for exercise will not only help to reduce weight but also aid in maintaining the mental and physical health. To reiterate, there are many health issues arises due to increase in gaining weight however, sticking to the diet plan and regular exercise helps to keep health in track.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, being healthy is vital. Rising number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prone to develop major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues owing to obesity are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss on the underlying causes for gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
and in the latter half address a possible solution to overcome this issue.

There are numerous factors responsible for
Consider using "public".
general public
to be overweight. To commence with, leading a sedentary lifestyle by most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this modern society with not much physical activity
greatly
contributes to putting on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
nowadays are lethargic and spend their major time on watching television and being active on social media. To illustrate, during night-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are involved
actively
on social application due to which their sleeping pattern
are disturbed
and sleeps at opposite hours.
Additionally
, diet is a key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. There are various options available for food in market which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
susceptible to consume in heavy quantity.
For example
, in every corner of cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dine in restaurant or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food such as burger, pizza and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on after shopping.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influences from YouTube food blogger who provides reviews and suggestion for the viewers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
taste them out of their curiosity.

There are number of solutions to decrease such habits.
Firstly
, diet modification should be practice.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can seek
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from expert such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
dietician
to adapt a healthy diet and should adhere to it completely.
Secondly
, allocating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time for exercise will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
aid in maintaining the mental and physical health.

To reiterate, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues arises due to increase in gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
however
, sticking to the diet plan and regular exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
.
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IELTS essay Question: the number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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