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Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. r7E6
It is clear that the restriction regarding the using phone during school of children still make controversial. Although the advantage of technology and phone can help children accomplish their tasks in school, some people also believe that the using phone of children in school should be banned. On the one hand, all of the people as also as children can not ignore the advantages and the usefull of phone. First, since the children are allowed to use their phones during school day, the phones are conducive to the accomplishment of children's works in school. For instance, this allowance ensures that children can access more sources on the internet in order to solve many problems putted in the class. Second, in this day and age, some emergency circumstances are susceptible to children. That means children can get help when they face these dangers, especially parents can set up phone number for SOS to make a necessary call immediately. On the other hand, the use of phones of children during school days is also restricted. The use of phones of children can affect the cognitive development of children because the use of children is at the expense of spending time in the real life. If the children face to the real-life, they are taught many things from life and they can obtain various experiences as well as vital skills. Besides, the allowance makes our children are more reliant on phones. For example, Instead of searching the solutions for different problems on their own, they tend to use their phones to do these works. In conclusion, phones bring distinguish both advantages and disadvantages for our children. The best solution that parents should allow their children to use phones in certain circumstances.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the restriction regarding the using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
controversial. Although the advantage of technology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
accomplish their tasks in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
believe that the using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should
be banned
.

On the one hand,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as
also
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the advantages and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
usefull
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
First
, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are conducive to the accomplishment of children's works in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For instance
, this allowance ensures that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can access more sources on the internet in order to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems putted in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. Second, in this day and age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
emergency circumstances are susceptible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. That means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
when they face these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
,
especially
parents can set up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
number for SOS to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a necessary call immediately.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days is
also
restricted. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can affect the cognitive development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is at the expense of spending time in the real life. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
face to the real-life, they
are taught
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they can obtain various experiences
as well
as vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Besides
, the allowance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more reliant on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
For example
,
Instead
of searching the solutions for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problems on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to do these works.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
bring distinguish both advantages and disadvantages for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The best solution that parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in certain circumstances.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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