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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? OAJk
Advertising is main source of showcasing the products to the consumers. Seller can use various methods for example: Social media, Newspaper, Radio to advertise their products into the market. Some people think that that advertisement encourages them to buy unnecessary stuff and other people think it brings awareness of latest products. Today we are going to discuss about pros and cons of advertising. Each coin has two sides, In my opinion advertising has more advantages over the disadvantages. It brings awareness in people about the latest launch and models. If companies won't advertise their products, information will never reach to layman. We can compare the models from different brands and buy the one which meets our requirement. I have recently bought an I-phone after seeing an advertisement on the television. I visited a local store and compared all features with other competitors and bought a high configuration cell phone. Coming to the fashion, it also gives us opportunity to see styles from different stores they are offering. On the other hand, some people are spend thrift and shop immediately after they see their favorite celebrity advertising a product and may not ever use it. Some big companies have money to advertise their products but small businessman cannot afford to advertise their product. For this reason big companies are selling more even if the quality of the product is not good. For this reason rich is becoming more rich and small employer has to struggle a lot to earn. To conclude this, advertising is important to bring awareness but people should think wisely before buying any product.
Advertising is main source of showcasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to the consumers. Seller can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
various methods
for example
: Social media, Newspaper, Radio to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
into the market.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that that advertisement encourages them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary stuff and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it brings awareness of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
we are going to
Did you mean simply "discuss pros"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about pros
and cons of advertising. Each coin has two sides, In my opinion advertising has more advantages over the disadvantages. It brings awareness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the latest launch and models. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
won't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, information will never reach to layman. We can compare the models from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the one which meets our requirement. I have recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
an I-phone after seeing an advertisement on the television. I visited a local store and compared all features with other competitors and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a high configuration cell phone. Coming to the fashion, it
also
gives us opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
styles from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stores they are offering.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
thrift and shop immediately after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their favorite celebrity advertising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and may not ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businessman cannot afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
For this reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are selling more even if the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
For this reason
rich is becoming more rich and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
employer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
struggle a lot to earn.
To conclude
this, advertising is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to bring awareness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
wisely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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