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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? MpaN
Advertisement is things help people to know what’s new coming In the market. It also help to people know about the product or services from different companies. Both sides have strong points which I would like to talk about in coming paragraphs. Firstly, if I agree with this statement then I think yes advertisement encourage people to buy things. For example, when companies do advertise about their product they put certain discounts or make a deals to get customer in. After that, they just show their prices and discounts on those items to get customer interested or may be they sell it to them even customer know they don’t need that item. On the other hand, advertisement helps consumer to know what’s new coming in the market or what’s qualities and feature that product have. Because consumers always want good things in less prices. Nowadays, competition is too high in the market. So, its helps to customers get best things in cheap price because of competition throughout this customers and firms both gets benefits. For examples, person want to buy a laptop throughout advertisement they know there is new laptop coming in the market. That take less space in the bags and its in very light weight. So its helps to buyers improve their lives in different ways. In the end, I partially agree with both statements. Because buyers should think before they buys products is useable or not for them. Advertisement keeping peoples informed about what’s new thing coming in the market or about the prices.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
is things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
. It
also
Did you mean "helps"?
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or services from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Both sides have strong points which I would like to talk about in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
paragraphs.

Firstly
, if I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement then I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
yes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things.
For example
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
do advertise about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
they put certain discounts or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a deal" or simply "deals"?
a deals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
in. After that, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
and discounts on those items to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
interested or
Did you mean "maybe" (= perhaps)?
may be
they sell it to them even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
they don’t need that item.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
consumer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
or what’s qualities and feature that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
have.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
consumers always want
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things in
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun prices is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
. Nowadays, competition is too high in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
A determiner is probably missing here: "get the best".
get best
things in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of competition throughout
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
and firms both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
benefits. For examples, person want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a laptop throughout
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
laptop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
. That take less space in the bags and its in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
light weight.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to buyers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both statements.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
buyers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "buy"
buys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is useable or not for them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
informed about what’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
or about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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