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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

There is no deny in the fact that advertisements play vital role in people lives and easily convince them to buy new products which they have not used before. Advertisements also give chance to people in order to get new experiences which may helpful to their lives progress. i am agree with these both view points and going to explain them more clearly in upcoming paragraphs. Promotions can be displayed in various ways through different mediums like television, social media, radio and so on however, they convey similar message to people which is pros of one particular object. The direction of advertisement is made in an accurate way which can easily convince customer. for instance, fair and lovely is a Indian cosmetic product for radiant skin and its shows that one girl who is using this cream can improve her skin tone from dark to fair in one month by regular application which is fraud indeed. Many girls buy such type pf products for fast results that they do not need in reality but promotion persuade them. On the other side, new commercial promotions also helpful for people in some cases. for example, when one person watch an advertisement on Television so he or she really think to buy it accordingly person is moving toward one another new experience. The bank insurance promotions, house residence promotions are helpful and make easy for people and they do not need explore bu their own. consequently, it saves time. Advertisements are crucial in the business and marketing and one the easiest way to earn capital. Now, the whole world has become global village through social media. promotions shown on social media connect one country to another and encourage marketing. they have both pros and cons but the influences of that adds can not be neglected.
There is no deny in the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
play vital role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
lives
and
easily
convince them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
products which they have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
also
give chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiences which may helpful to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
progress.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
i
am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with these both view points and going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
them more
clearly
in upcoming paragraphs.

Promotions can
be displayed
in various ways through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mediums like television, social media, radio and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on
however
, they convey similar message to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which is pros of one particular object. The direction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is made
in an accurate way which can
easily
convince customer.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
for
instance,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
and lovely is
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
Indian cosmetic product for radiant skin and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that one girl who is using this cream can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
her skin tone from dark to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
in one month by regular application which is fraud
indeed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
such type pf products for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
results that they do not need in
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
reality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
promotion persuade them.

On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
commercial promotions
also
helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
for
example, when one person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
on Television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he or she
really
The pronoun ‘she’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “thinks”, “thought”.
think
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it
accordingly
person is moving toward one another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experience. The bank insurance promotions,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
residence promotions are helpful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
easy for
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they do not need
Did you mean “to explore”?
explore
Make sure that ‘bu’ is an abbreviation (bureau, bushel). Did you mean “by”, “but”, “bug”, or “bus”?
bu
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
consequently
, it saves time.

Advertisements are crucial in the business and marketing and one the easiest way to earn capital.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, the whole world has become global village through social media.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
promotions
shown on social media connect one country to another and encourage marketing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
they
have both pros and cons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the influences of that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
can not
be neglected
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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