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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? BX1w
In the today\'s society where every company is competing with their opponent companies, advertisement has become a need. Some people ponder that the blooming trend of advertisements allure people to buy unnecessary things where other people opine that it acknowledge public regarding new products in the market. I, however strongly in favor of former viewpoint with numerous reasons which will be discussed in subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, advertisements are being used in the market to attract people with many reasons. First and foremost, almost everyone is well connected to the social networking platforms and always look for exciting material. Public, when get into attracting publication; they like to buy it sometimes without considering its need. To elaborate, It has always seen that advertisement are made up of extra primitive materials and which is being used as a major aspect to hide its importance and people end up buying it. Furthermore, advertisement companies are indirectly encouraging people to be materialistic personalities. Owing to this reason, advertisements are always made up in such a way by which public owning all segments are shown as machos of the society. As a result, people try to copy the same materialistic lifestyle and buy unnecessary things for no use. To cite an example, last month of my friends have bought new model of Bullet bike however he had one already which shows his materialistic personality resembles the people shows in TV adds. To encapsulate, it can be concluded that however purchasing is people\'s personal preference but at some time advertisements play a big role to make people buy unimportant things.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
\'s society where every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is competing with their opponent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has become a need.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ponder that the blooming trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
allure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unnecessary things where other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that it acknowledge public regarding new products in the market. I,
however
strongly
in favor of former viewpoint with numerous reasons which will
be discussed
in subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the market to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
First
and foremost, almost everyone is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well connected
to the social networking platforms and always look for exciting material. Public, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into attracting publication; they like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
without considering its need. To elaborate, It has always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
are made
up of extra primitive materials and which is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a major aspect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
its importance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up buying it.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are
indirectly
encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be materialistic personalities. Owing to this reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are always made up in such a way by which public owning all segments
are shown
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
machos
of the society.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to copy the same materialistic lifestyle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unnecessary things for no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. To cite an example, last month of my friends have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
new model of Bullet bike
however
he had one already which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
his materialistic personality resembles the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
shows
in TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
.

To encapsulate, it can
be concluded
that
however
purchasing is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
\'s personal preference
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unimportant things.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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