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Some people give opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behaviour. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion and reasons.

Some people give opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behaviour. 7XQy
“Children’s are the future of any nation” and their behaviour affects in to the future. Elders and their parents play vital role in their upbringing of their offspring. Some people believe that children’s should be awarded for their good behaviour while others argue that they should be punished for their bad behaviour. I think rewarding them instead of punishing is more preferable. To embark with, I think that children’s should be awarded in some ways for their good behaviour. If the children does some good work he should be praised so that he feels encouraged to do some more good work. Failure in recognizing such good behaviour will left the children with same emotional feeling as they have did nothing special. Therefore rewarding them on their good behaviour will encourage them to repeat this in future. Consequently it will lead them to a brighter future. On the other side, punishing children on their mistakes and bad behaviour can have some serious effect on their mental health. Sometimes parents get too aggressive while punishing their children that their child become stubborn and start to disobey the parents. Moreover this kind of ill treated behaviour can make them feel bad in front of other child who are treated normally. Agglomerating all the points elaborated above I can opine that rewarding children is the best way to teach them good behaviours. Children are innocent and of pure soul. We can easily teach these things with love and politeness which will give more benefits compared to punishment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“Children’s
are the future of any nation” and their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
affects in to the future. Elders and their parents play vital role in their upbringing of their offspring.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
should
be awarded
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
while others argue that they should
be punished
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
rewarding them
instead
of punishing is more preferable.

To embark with, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
should
be awarded
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
does
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
work he should
be praised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he feels encouraged to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
work. Failure in recognizing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "leave"
left
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with same emotional feeling as they have
Use past participle here: "done".
did
nothing special.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
rewarding them on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
will encourage them to repeat this
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
it will lead them to a brighter future.

On the other side, punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on their mistakes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious effect on their mental health.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
too aggressive while punishing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that their child become stubborn and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to disobey the parents.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
this kind of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ill treated
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
in front of other child who
are treated
normally
.

Agglomerating all the points elaborated above I can opine that rewarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is the best way to teach them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are innocent and of pure soul. We can
easily
teach these things with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and politeness which will give more benefits compared to punishment.
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IELTS essay Some people give opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behaviour.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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