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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Ank1
A group of people believes that advertising encourages us to buy things that we actually not need whereas other group believes that advertisements helps us to know about new products that may improve our lives. I partially agree with both groups and explaining my comments in this essay. We know that internet and TV are ambiquitous. Internet has became prime platform for advertisement. Artificial intelligance shows us advertisement of the products which we have searched for. They bombard us with variety of brands and feature of the products. Which eventually makes us intrested in buying product which sometimes we may not need it. But, I believe that people should have good control over them in order to curb theirself in buying unnecesary products. They should have good understanding of what to buy and what not. However, other group of people believe that advrtisements have certain benefits for us. Firstly, it tells us about newly launched products. Secondly, it tells us about new versions of existing products. It eventually helps us in improving our lifestyle. Sometimes, newly launched products offers discounts which is an add-on benefit for the customers. In my view, such advertisements are informative which eventually helps us to improve quality of life with better products Overall, I believe that both the groups are half correct. One should curb theirself from buying unwanted products and on the other side, keep looking for new products which helps to improve lifestyle with more useful and economic products. One should also seek opinion of friends or relatives for review of newly launched products.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that advertising encourages us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things that we actually not need whereas other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to know about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
and explaining my comments in this essay.

We know that internet and TV are
Possible spelling mistake found.
ambiquitous
. Internet has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
prime platform for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. Artificial
Possible spelling mistake found.
intelligance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which we have searched for. They bombard us with variety of brands and feature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrested
in buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
we may not need it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
control over them in order to curb
Possible spelling mistake found.
theirself
in buying
Possible spelling mistake found.
unnecesary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. They should have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
understanding of what to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and what not.

However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
advrtisements
have certain benefits for us.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us about
newly
launched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Secondly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us about new versions of existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. It
eventually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us in improving our lifestyle.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
newly
launched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
offers discounts which is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
-on benefit for the customers. In my view, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are informative which
eventually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality of life with better
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
products


Overall
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
are half correct. One should curb
Possible spelling mistake found.
theirself
from buying unwanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and on the other side,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
looking for new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
lifestyle with more useful and economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. One should
also
seek opinion of friends or relatives for review of
newly
launched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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