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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? 6AL0
Many believe that advertising entice people to purchase things they don't require whereas others says it introduces them with new products in the market which may help to enhance their lives. I agree with the view that advertising entice people to purchase unnecessary things. My friend Chen is a software engineer and he never goes out for hiking. Few days back he saw a very attractive add for a new type of hiking shoes and decided to buy them just because he liked the advertisement. He never though of its usage. This is the power of a good commercial add. Another of my friend is a musician and he needs a laptop for very general purpose usage like one which can accommodate good audio and video editing tools, good recorder and camera. However when I went to shop with him he fixated on buying a Alienware laptop, which of course if good with all his requirement, but has a different purpose altogether. It is a hardcore gaming laptop which costs a fortune. I asked him reason and he too gave me a very familiar response, a lucrative add influenced him to buy it. List of such cases is endless and this clearly shows how a well curated add can allure people to buy commodities or services they don't even need. To conclude, I fully support the argument that advertising attracts people to run after things they do not need.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that advertising entice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things they don't require whereas others says it introduces them with new products in the market which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that advertising entice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
unnecessary things.

My friend Chen is a software
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
engineer and
he never goes out for hiking. Few days back he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
attractive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
for a new type of hiking shoes and decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he liked the advertisement.
It seems that a verb is missing.
He
never though of its usage. This is the power of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
commercial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
.

Another of my friend is a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
musician and
he needs a laptop for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
general purpose usage like one which can accommodate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
audio and video editing tools,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
recorder and camera.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
when I went to shop with him he fixated on buying
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alienware
laptop, which
of course
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
with all his requirement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purpose altogether. It is a hardcore gaming laptop which costs a fortune. I asked him
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
reason and
he too gave me a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
familiar response, a lucrative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
influenced him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it.

List of such cases is endless and this
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how a well curated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
can allure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
commodities or services they don't even need.

To conclude
, I
fully
support the argument that advertising attracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to run after things they do not need.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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