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Some people believe that governments are spending more money on wild life. This money should be used for other works. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that governments are spending more money on wild life. This money should be used for other works. PJE2
According to some people, governments are spending inordinate amounts of money for wildlife protection when there are other pressing issues in the country. I agree with this view to a great extent. While I do admit that protecting wildlife is important, in my opinion, other areas like education and healthcare should be the priority of the government. On the one hand, humans are considered the most important species in the world. Even in this era, many people in developing countries are underprivileged, impoverished and deprived of basic necessities of life. Women are still downgraded in some societies and there is an increasing infant mortality rate. The government should focus more on alleviating these problems first, in my opinion. The recent Covid pandemic has completely disrupted people’s lives, and some poor countries do not have the financial capacity to buy the vaccines to tackle them. Newer research and development in medical field to tackle the outbreak of such epidemics requires huge investment and should be given more priority than wildlife preservation. Having said that, protecting animals is still important. The government can accomplish this by simply allowing animals to live in their natural habitat. It should bring in stringent laws to prevent deforestation and poaching. Oftentimes, poaching is a by-product of unemployment. If people do not have another means of living, they may take to poaching and illegal animal trade. By creating more job opportunities and enhancing the living standards of people, the government can prevent them from destroying wild life. If animals can live safely in their natural habitat, the government does not have to do anything more to protect them. In conclusion, I believe that wildlife conservationists have overlooked the real challenges faced by humanity. Governments should allocate more budget to solve the problems of poverty, education and deadly diseases. This does not mean that wildlife should be ignored; it should be protected by enacting stringent laws.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are spending inordinate amounts of money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
protection when there are other pressing issues in the country. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view to a great extent. While I do admit that protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, in my opinion, other areas like education and healthcare should be the priority of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

On the one hand, humans
are considered
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
species in the world. Even in this era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
are underprivileged
, impoverished and deprived of
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of life. Women are
still
downgraded in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
societies and there is an increasing infant mortality rate. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should focus more on alleviating these problems
first
, in my opinion. The recent
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid
pandemic has completely disrupted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
poor countries do not have the financial capacity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the vaccines to tackle them. Newer research and development in medical field to tackle the outbreak of such epidemics requires huge investment and should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more priority than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
preservation.

Having said that, protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can accomplish this by
simply
allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their natural habitat. It should bring in stringent laws to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
deforestation and poaching. Oftentimes, poaching is a by-product of unemployment. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have another means of living, they may take to poaching and illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
trade. By creating more job opportunities and enhancing the living standards of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from destroying wild life. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
safely
in their natural habitat, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do anything more to protect them.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
conservationists have overlooked the real challenges faced by humanity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should allocate more budget to solve the problems of poverty, education and deadly diseases. This does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
; it should
be protected
by enacting stringent laws.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that governments are spending more money on wild life. This money should be used for other works.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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