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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give examples.

In this modern era, advertisements play a vital role in our lives. We can find advertisements in our electronic gadgets, newspapers, magazines and on road sides. Some advertisements have a good impact in our lives and some have bad impacts. I totally agree with this notion that advertisements provide us information about new launched products in the market, which help us to ease our lives. On the one hand, nowadays many companies use advertisements to grow their company. Companies need to know their coustmers about their products. It also inform us about the new launched products and the choices we have. For instance, few months back iPhone launched their new series iPhone 12 pro, it has many new features, it is also water resistant, wide camera and long life battery. People attract with the advert of iPhone 12 pro and they pre-book the phone. Advertising is a creative industry that employs many people. On the other hand, advertising manipulates the people because it aims to persuade people that buying a product will make them happier. They also focus on selling brad images and use glamours and successful people. People persuade to follow the latest trend and sometimes they buy things which they do not really need. Advertisements often aim their marketing at the children because children can easily be influenced by adverts and they put pressure parents to buy them things even that are out of their budget. To conclude, advertising is necessary in free market economics and it creates demand for the new launched products and people influence them and some enjoy the adverts.
In this modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
play a vital role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. We can find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in our electronic gadgets, newspapers, magazines and on road sides.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impacts. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
provide us information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
launched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the market, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the one hand, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to grow their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
need to know their
Possible spelling mistake found.
coustmers
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. It
also
After ‘It’, use the third-person verb form “informs”.
inform
us about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
launched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and the choices we have.
For instance
, few months back iPhone launched their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
series
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
iPhone 12 pro
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
features, it is
also
water resistant, wide camera and long life battery.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
attract with the advert of
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
iPhone 12 pro
and they pre-book the phone. Advertising is a creative industry that employs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, advertising manipulates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it aims to persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happier. They
also
focus on selling brad images and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
glamours and successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
persuade to follow the latest
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
trend and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things which they do not
really
need.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
aim their marketing at the children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children can
easily
be influenced
by
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
adverts and
they put pressure parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them things even that are out of their budget.

To conclude
, advertising is necessary in free market
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
economics and
it creates demand for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
launched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
influence them and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
enjoy the adverts.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give examples.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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