Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that subject of financial education should be added to school syllabus while others say that it should not be added.discuss both the views

It is irrefutable true that money plays a sterling role in everybody’s life. Many people believe that subject of financial education should be made mandatory in school curriculum. On the contrary others opine that it should not be incorporated in the school syllabus. This essay intends to delve into both the former and latter view in the upcoming paragraphs. At the onset, making financial education mandatory in school curriculum could come in immensely hand forms on many fronts. Firstly, imparting financial education could teach many students the value of money. If they will get acquainted with value of money then there would be multifarious benefits like they will become more matured and would definitely gain the sense of responsibility. Besidethis, they might well develop with more efficient skills. Moreover they would not fritter away the money on frivolous things. Also, many of them would be motivated to save money from future expenses. As a result they will become rational. In addition to this, acquisition of financial education may help in honing of money management skills. Consequently, these skills would help in business ventures in future. Researchers have revealed that many failures in business happen due to mismanagement of money or finance. Yet dissemination such education could dim the chances of failure and brighten the prospects of success. Contrarily others argue that incorporation of one more subject would not benefit rather it would put some of the bad impacts on the children of elementary School students. First major drawback of this would be addition of one extra subject would mount the burden on budding minds. This syllabus is already voluminous. Hence, mounted stress may cast an adverse effect on their holistic growth of the students. Apart from this, some children might turn money minded which may lead to erosion of moral or ethical values. Children may astray from their major subjects and would completely deviate towards this particular subject which further would affect their overall academic performance. Last but not the least financial education is replete with the intricate concepts. Children’s minds are not mature enough to comprehend the intricacies of the subject. In compendium, it is quite evident from the aforementioned information that financial education should not be mandatory rather it should be optional because the interested students should not be deprived of the subject and also should not be forced upon the uninterested students.
It is irrefutable true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays a sterling role in everybody’s life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be made
mandatory in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum.
On the contrary
others opine that it should not
be incorporated
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
syllabus. This essay intends to delve into both the former and latter view in the upcoming paragraphs. At the onset, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
mandatory in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in
immensely
hand forms on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fronts.
Firstly
, imparting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
could teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. If they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
acquainted with value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
then there would be multifarious benefits like they will become more matured and would definitely gain the sense of responsibility.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Besidethis
, they might well develop with more efficient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
they would not fritter away the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on frivolous things.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them would
be motivated
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from future expenses.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result they will become rational.
In addition
to this, acquisition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in honing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Consequently
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in business ventures
The phrase ‘in future’ is British English. Did you mean: “in the future”?
in future
. Researchers have revealed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
failures in business happen due to mismanagement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or finance.
Yet
dissemination such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
could dim the chances of failure and brighten the prospects of success.
Contrarily
others argue that incorporation of one more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
would not benefit
rather
it would put
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
First
major drawback of this would be addition of one extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
would mount the burden on budding minds. This syllabus is already voluminous.
Hence
, mounted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
may cast an adverse effect on their holistic growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Apart from this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might turn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
minded which may lead to erosion of moral or ethical values.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
may astray from their major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and would completely deviate towards this particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
which
further
would affect their
overall
academic performance. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is replete with the intricate concepts.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children’s
minds are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to comprehend the intricacies of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. In compendium, it is quite evident from the aforementioned information that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should not be mandatory
rather
it should be optional
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the interested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not
be deprived
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and
also
should not
be forced
upon the uninterested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people say that subject of financial education should be added to school syllabus while others say that it should not be added. discuss both the views

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
395 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts