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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? 2dej
In this new and developing modern era we have been surrounded by advertisements. From televisions, to mobiles and also on the streets we encounter a huge variety advertisements. These advertisements has divided people into 2 groups, the first group tends to believe that advertisements have forced everyone around us to buy things which are not at necessary in our lifes. Another group believes that advertisements are an essential and an integral part of our life. In my opinion, advertisements have transformed our lifes in a positive manner and will only improve our life. The reason to support my arguement is that increase in population and countries are developing, people tend to inovate and bring out new things to improve our standard of living and simplify our lifestyles. To let people know more about these products it is extremely crucial and advertising these products is the only way spread information among a huge section of society. Without advertisement we might miss out on a extremely important product. Without advertisement it might be possible that few people from a city are deprieved of smart phones and few people may use these smart phones to improve their lifestyle and make it much easier. This case is possible not only with smart phones but also for various different products. Advertising products is not only beneficial for customers but it allows manufactures to target a huge audience of people. Various other industry sectors are depended on adverstisement for their income. Do you know Google's 96 percent of income was only due to advertisement. According to me advertisement is a blessing to this modern and the upcoming era. People are more informed and can make a better understanding about different products from a huge available section of products.
In this new and developing modern era we have
been surrounded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. From televisions, to mobiles and
also
on the streets we encounter a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
variety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
divided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into 2 groups, the
first
group tends to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have forced everyone around us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things which are not at necessary in our
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
. Another group believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are an essential and an integral part of our life.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have transformed our
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
manner and will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our life. The reason to support my
Possible spelling mistake found.
arguement
is that increase in population and countries are developing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
Possible spelling mistake found.
inovate
and bring out new things to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our standard of living and simplify our lifestyles. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know more about these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
it is
extremely
crucial and advertising these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
way spread information among a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
section of society.

Without
The comma is probably missing here: "advertisement, we".
advertisement we
might miss out on
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Without
The comma is probably missing here: "advertisement, it".
advertisement it
might be possible that few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from a city are
Possible spelling mistake found.
deprieved
of smart phones and few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these smart phones to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their lifestyle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it much easier. This case is possible not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
with smart phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
products.

Advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
beneficial for customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
manufactures to target a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
audience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Various other industry sectors
are depended
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
adverstisement
for their income. Do you know Google's 96 percent of income was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
due to advertisement.

This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is a blessing to this modern and the upcoming era.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are more informed and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better understanding about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
available section of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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