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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

It is stated by a lot of individuals that promotion of products motivates people to buy unnecessary things. However, some humans believe that such publicity provides us information related to the items which may bring ease in our daily routine and lifestyle. In my opinion, I agree that advertisement of new products may provide knowledge to the consumers related to the newly developed and improved products in the market and the latest price of goods as well. Firstly, advertisement improves the information about the products available in the market. It provides the basic understanding about the products and also helps in becoming familiar with the usage of product. Such as, how the product can be safely used, when not to use it and where to keep it after usage. The basic information provided in the advertisement always helps the users in many ways. For example, advertisement of a newly developed bottle of cooking oil which is easy to handle and comfortable in pouring out the oil may be useful and attractive for a lot of users who find difficulty in using the oil pouches. Secondly, advertisements also provide the idea about the market price of the products. There are a lot of products in the market on which the prices are not mentioned due to which people avoid buying such things. Advertisement can help people in keeping a check on latest prices of products. To illustrate, usually mobile phone companies do not put a price tag on the boxes of phone however, prices shown in advertisement make it easy for people to know about the rates of mobile phones available in the market. In conclusion, it can be said that advertisements are helpful in many ways and the best benefits it provides is related to the usage and the price of the products.
It
is stated
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
individuals that promotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
motivates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary things.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
humans believe that such publicity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
us information related to the items which may bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
in our daily routine and lifestyle. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
The usual collocation for “advertisement” is “for”, not “of”. Did you mean “advertisement for”?
advertisement of
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
knowledge to the consumers related to the
newly
developed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
and the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
as well
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
available in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
the basic understanding about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in becoming familiar with the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Such as, how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
can be
safely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, when not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it and where to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it after usage. The basic information provided in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the users in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
For example
,
The usual collocation for “advertisement” is “for”, not “of”. Did you mean “advertisement for”?
advertisement of
a
newly
developed bottle of cooking oil which is easy to handle and comfortable in pouring out the oil may be useful and attractive for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
users who find difficulty in using the oil pouches.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
on which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
are not mentioned due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
avoid buying such things.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in keeping a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. To illustrate,
usually
mobile phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
do not put a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
tag on the boxes of phone
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
shown in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to know about the rates of mobile phones available in the market.

In conclusion
, it can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are helpful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways and the best benefits it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
is related
to the usage and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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