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Some people say that advertisements are informative as well as the help to boost the economy of country. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that advertisements are informative as well as the help to boost the economy of country. Kyl10
Many individuals open that commercials are very interactive and help to proliferate the economy of every nation. I completely agree with the notion because it aware people about their rights and provide information of newly launched products as well. Tovcomments with, advertisement is a great platform for business to reach the desired number of customers about their product. First of all it is used to aware people about the product that is launched in the market because it is crucial to attract individuals in order to sale that product. moreover, it awares people by describing striking features of a particular product such as quality, merits and many more. For instance, an advertisement was published in 'The Hindustan Times' revealed about the new car launch in the market with its features and latest technology used to make the car. Hence, people get to know about the products and they may purchase it. Moving further, it leads to boost up the economy of the country and advertisement consists thousands of employees for its production and sale as well, which leads to more job opportunities as large masses are required for the effective results. In addition to that, artists get platform to reveal their hidden talents, as artists perform their talent via commercials in front of millions of people. To epitome, the advertisement of ' Parle-G', advertisement of biscuit brand, a young girl played a character which helped her to reveal her talent. To conclude, I believe that advertisements are crucial to spread informative knowledge about the product in order to aware customers, and also help youngsters to perform their skills and talent and create job opportunities as well.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals open that commercials are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interactive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to proliferate the economy of every nation. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about their rights and provide information of
newly
launched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as well
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tovcomments
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is a great platform for business to reach the desired number of customers about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that
is launched
in the market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is crucial to attract individuals in order to sale that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
awares
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by describing striking features of a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
such as quality, merits and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
For instance
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
was published
in 'The Hindustan Times' revealed about the new car launch in the market with its features and latest technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the car.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
products and
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it. Moving
further
, it leads to boost up the economy of the country and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
consists thousands of employees for its production and sale
as well
, which leads to more job opportunities as large masses
are required
for the effective results.
In addition
to that, artists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
platform to reveal their hidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
, as artists perform their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
via commercials in front of millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To epitome, the
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
Possible spelling mistake found.
Parle-G
',
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
biscuit brand, a young girl played a character which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
her to reveal her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
.
To conclude
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are crucial to spread informative knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aware
customers, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
youngsters to perform their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
and create job opportunities
as well
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertisements are informative as well as the help to boost the economy of country.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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