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Some people say students should live alone when going to university while others believe they should live with their parents during this period. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say students should live alone when going to university while others believe they should live with their parents during this period. AaAyN
While some people think that students ought to live alone whilst studying at university, it is believed by others that it is better for them to remain living at home. In my opinion, I think students benefit from living alone unless their finances prevent it. Firstly, one of the main reasons why it is advantageous for students to live alone is that they become totally independent of their parents and able to think for themselves. University is a time for students to spread their wings and try new ideas or ways of thinking and learn to cope with making life changing decisions. By living alone, without the influence of their parents, they develop rounder, decisive characters able to function well in the world. Another advantage to students fleeing the parental nest is that they learn to manage money. Most students see university as a stepping stone to adulthood and so by learning to live on a budget, they develop the skills needed once they are earning a salary and balancing their finances. Renting property also comes with responsibilities to both landlords and housemates, and this is a further lesion to learn in useful life skills. Finally, however, regardless of how beneficial living alone might be for university students, it might be financially impractical for some. For a small proportion of university students, their finances might require them to stay at home for as long as possible until they are finally able to support themselves through paid work. In conclusion, while it might not be feasible for all students, living away from parents helps university students develop strength of character and useful life skills needed for when they enter working life.
While
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some
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people
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think
that
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students
ought to
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live
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alone
whilst studying at
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university
, it
is believed
by others that it is better for them to remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
at home. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
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students
benefit from
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living
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alone
unless their finances
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prevent
it.

Firstly
, one of the main reasons why it is advantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
is that they become
totally
independent of their parents and able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
for themselves.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is a time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to spread their wings and try new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
or ways of thinking and learn to cope with making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
changing decisions. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, without the influence of their parents, they develop rounder, decisive characters able to function well in the world.

Another advantage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
fleeing the parental nest is that they learn to manage money. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
as a stepping stone to adulthood and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
by learning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on a budget, they develop the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
needed once they are earning a salary and balancing their finances. Renting property
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with responsibilities to both landlords and housemates, and this is a
further
lesion to learn in useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Finally
,
however
, regardless of how beneficial
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living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
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might
be for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
financially
impractical for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. For a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, their finances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
require them to stay at home for as long as possible until they are
finally
able to support themselves through paid work.

In conclusion
, while it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be feasible for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
develop strength of character and useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
needed for when they enter working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Some people say students should live alone when going to university while others believe they should live with their parents during this period.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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