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Some people say porn sex is essential for younger ones .do you agree or disagree

Some people say porn sex is essential for younger ones. O6JoE
Unequivocally, in this contemporary era adults have been addicted to sexy movies as they confer entertainment. I accord with this statement completely and shall scrutinize in subsequent fragments. To embark with, why some people say sexy movies are important for us? There are plethora of reasons behind it. The first tenable etiology is that porn sites are source of income. Elaborating it with felicitous epitome, kris john who is well known for his porn movies is earning hefty sums of money through porn industry. What is more these soaps bestow rejuvenation to not only youth but also senior citizens. into bargain in this tech savvy era most of guys depend on these porn movies to mastrubate as a result they can easily do sex with their counterparts in future. A recent survey conducted has proved that porn industry is getting name and fame among boys as they are using those sites for getting inner piece. However, various administrations are tending to shut down these sites as they think are bad for children however i believe these are beneficial for them to conclude although government is banning these porn sites yet i ponder that these should not be ban as these are source for not only for gathering money but also internal piece when men see hot sexy women
Unequivocally
, in this contemporary era adults have
been addicted
to sexy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
as they confer entertainment. I accord with this statement completely and shall scrutinize in subsequent fragments. To embark with, why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say sexy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us? There are plethora of reasons behind it. The
first
tenable etiology is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
porn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are source of income. Elaborating it with felicitous epitome,
Possible spelling mistake found.
kris
john who is well known for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
porn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
is earning hefty sums of money through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
porn
industry.
What is more
these soaps bestow rejuvenation to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
youth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
senior citizens.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
into
bargain in this
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
tech savvy
era
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the guys") or simply say "most guys".
most of guys
depend on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
porn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
mastrubate
as a result
they can
easily
do sex with their counterparts
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. A recent survey conducted has proved that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
porn
industry is getting name and fame among boys as they are using those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
for getting inner piece.
However
, various administrations are tending to shut down these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for children
however
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe these are beneficial for them
to conclude
although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is banning these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
porn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
yet
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
ponder that these should not be
Consider using a past participle here: "banned".
ban
as these are source for not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for gathering money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
internal piece when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
hot sexy women
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IELTS essay Some people say porn sex is essential for younger ones.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
217 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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