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Some people say people can buy things when they need advertising not need. To what extend do u agree or disagree?

Some people say people can buy things when they need advertising not need. GlXN2
Most of people argue that advertisement are not require and consumer can buy a product based on thier necessaries. I hardly disagree with this statement, In my opinion, advertisements not only help the consumer to choose a good product but also reach the seller to their potential buyer. To commence with the view of the disagreement, it is undeniable that advertisement plays a crucial role in marketing, in other words it's a backbone of marketing it increases profit from convincing the people for purchase an advertised product by assures that it will be useful and beneficial to you which has a profound effect on the customer. Nowdays companies spend lot of money on ads to encourage people to buying their product. For example computer are used by industries to have more coloured, sharp and realistic ads in media or street which are mostly viewed by people. Further strengthening the views, advertisement encourage loyalty among the customer and increase their trust in the company. Without advertisement, a person is deprived of any useful product information. For instance, if I need a mobile device and I see an ad of a new brand which offers an exciting features on great price I will definitely buy it. Shifting toward the view of the agreement, A person does not buy anything looking at the advertisement without his necessity. If someone has to buy clothes, he will not buy a mobile phone by looking at the advertisement. To conclusions, after analyzing it is clear that promoting products is vital as many positive merits are drawn from this practice.
Most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
advertisement
are not
Consider using a past participle here: "required".
require
and consumer can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
based on
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
necessaries. I hardly disagree with this statement, In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the consumer to choose a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
reach the seller to their potential buyer.

To commence with the view of the disagreement, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
plays a crucial role in marketing,
in other words
it's a backbone of marketing it increases profit from convincing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
an advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
by assures that it will be useful and beneficial to you which has a profound effect on the customer.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowdays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
spend
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
money on ads to encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
Did you mean "buy"?
buying
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
For example
computer are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by industries to have more
Possible spelling mistake. 'coloured' is British English.
coloured
, sharp and realistic ads in media or street which are
mostly
viewed by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
strengthening the views,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
encourage loyalty among the customer and increase their trust in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, a person
is deprived
of any useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
information.
For instance
, if I need a mobile device and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an ad of a new brand which offers an exciting
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "feature"?
features
on great price I will definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it.

Shifting toward the view of the agreement, A person does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
anything looking at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
without his necessity. If someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
clothes, he will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a mobile phone by looking at the advertisement.

To conclusions, after analyzing it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is vital as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
merits
are drawn
from this practice.

IELTS essay Some people say people can buy things when they need advertising not need.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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