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Essay on the moment you felt most despondent

Essay on the moment you felt most despondent 2ln5w
The time where you feel most hopeless is when everything around you changes. You see no value to the things you work for and your whole world turns blue. The way we feel visions our perspective. It is an uncontrollable feeling leads to put hate onto ourselves. The period on when I found most despondent was when I have transferred to a new city and entering a new school. I have felt especially nervous and anxious for the day I entered the school as I did not know anybody in the school but also in this whole city. Not having any friends was very difficult and I have felt very hopeless as I determined my worth based on how people approach me. So I was able to make some friends, after some conflicts only one remained alongside. But the problem was that she was often absent and I had no one to depend on during these moments. I would walk around as I found more peace in that compared to sitting by myself in the classroom being the only person who is alone. I hated those moments that I often attempted to make myself intentionally sick to evade going to class. I often felt hopeless because I had no one to rely on. That was when I have realized that having someone to rely on was such an important factor to everyones lives. When I had nobody I felt very hopeless because this was an unintentional feeling of loneliness and it was such a terrible feeling but having to know that someone is right there for you for empties the sadness and brings more joy. In conclusion, all those feelings are temporary whether it is happiness, sadness, or anger that comes your way these negative feelings won’t last long and the happiness we feel would often continue further. As the negative emotions that we feel are usually caused by something but if we just learn to overcome it or no longer find meaning towards it, we can be able to find our happiness. This feeling of hopelessness is not terminal it is only a matter on how we overcome it.
The
It is better to use 'time' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "time when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
time where
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hopeless
is when everything around you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
no value to the things you work for and your whole world turns blue. The way we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
visions our perspective. It is an uncontrollable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
leads to put hate onto ourselves.

The period on when I found most despondent was when I have transferred to a new city and entering a new school. I have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
especially
nervous and anxious for the day I entered the school as I did not know anybody in the school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in this whole city. Not having any friends was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult and I have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hopeless
as I determined my worth based on how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
approach me.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I was able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
friends, after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conflicts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one remained alongside.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the problem was that she was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
absent and I had no one to depend on during these moments. I would walk around as I found more peace in that compared to sitting by myself in the classroom being the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
person who is alone. I hated those moments that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
attempted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
myself
intentionally
sick to evade going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hopeless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I had no one to rely on. That was when I have realized that having someone to rely on was such an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor to
Possible spelling mistake found.
everyones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. When I had nobody I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hopeless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this was an unintentional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
of loneliness and it was such a terrible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
having to know that someone is right there for you for empties the sadness and brings more joy.

In conclusion
, all those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feelings
are temporary whether it is happiness, sadness, or anger that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
your way these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feelings
won’t last long and the happiness we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
continue
further
. As the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotions that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
are
usually
caused by something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
learn to overcome it or no longer find meaning towards it, we can be able to find our happiness. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
of hopelessness is not terminal it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a matter on how we overcome it.
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IELTS essay Essay on the moment you felt most despondent

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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