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some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion. oN83
Some people think that music is a good way but at the same time bring people of different cultures and ages together. In my opinion, is agree with the statement. I believe that music can make a good vibe in all the situation. The music has a thousand years ago. About music is people can give emotion. All ebout music can be ejoy from child until old. The music give yers be colorful. If do not music life is just boring. The color of music bring a role. Music have many contrasional. The music can cage world. becous the mind is sicread. That time maybe I can disagree if the statement be realited. Because the music has many choised. The music can give positive and negative. The negative impact from music is broke the cultures. For example, in Indonesai have many traditional musics. But not all now about it. All ebout it, music give good way. The music we can eyoy ebout the crowded situation. Ebout the music gie a support system and the music give motivation all generation. Music give a mood bost. every I have bed situation music always in bised me to give a good condition. I think this can explain in the all life. The conclusion is music is a good way but at the same time bring people of different cultures and ages together. The All music have many mind the culture. The music always have the color in the song. Overall I agree dor the statement from people.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
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think
that
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music
is a
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good
way
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but
at the same time bring
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people
of
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different
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cultures
and ages together. In my opinion, is
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with the statement. I believe that
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music
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
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good
vibe in all the situation.

The
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music
has a thousand years ago. About
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music
is
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people
can
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give
emotion. All
Possible spelling mistake found.
ebout
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
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be ejoy
from child until
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old
. The
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music
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give
Possible spelling mistake found.
yers
be colorful.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
do not
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music
life is
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just
boring. The color of
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music
Did you mean "brings"?
bring
a role.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
have
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many
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contrasional
. The
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music
can cage world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
becous
the mind is
Possible spelling mistake found.
sicread
.

That time maybe I can disagree if the statement be
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realited
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
the
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music
has
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many
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choised
. The
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music
can
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give
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positive
and
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negative
. The
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negative
impact from
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music
is broke the
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cultures
.
For example
, in
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Indonesai
have
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many
traditional
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musics
.
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But
not all
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now
about it.

All
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ebout
it,
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music
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give
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good
way. The
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music
we can
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eyoy
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ebout
the crowded situation.
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Ebout
the
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music
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gie
a support system and the
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music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
motivation all generation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "gives".
give
a mood
Possible spelling mistake found.
bost
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
every
I have bed situation
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music
always in
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bised
me to
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give
a
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good
condition. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in the all life.

The conclusion is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and ages together.
Possible typo. Did you mean "The" or "All"?
The All
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music
have
Possible agreement error. The noun mind seems to be countable; consider using: "many minds".
many mind
the
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culture
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
always have the color in the song.
Overall
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
Possible spelling mistake found.
dor
the statement from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.

IELTS essay some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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