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A knowledge of maths is not important for most jobs nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

A knowledge of maths is not important for most jobs nowadays. with this statement? 3OLY
Some sciences have played key role in revolutionizing the world and among them mathematics impact is not deniable. However, these days we are confronted with assertion that math is on longer requisite in may major and job as before. Despite many people are unanimous, I completely disagree with idea. To begin with, mathematics is known as a root of progress in any branches of industrial world. That is, if scientists were not thoroughly acquainted with latest development in mathematics, they could not achieve to what have made the world more convenient. A good illustration of this is invention of computers and industrial machines which are used in many aspect of life. Undoubtedly, designing of high rise towers or even producing a complicate vehicle without attending computers will be intangible. This in turn clarify that today modern societies are significantly correlated with mathematics. In addition, another argument against such idea is that the more the world become modern, the more necessaries are felt to equation of math. To put it differently, some jobs that are not considered these days to be related to mathematics show a close relation with newest data in math. Take medical profession which is not thought to utilize math as a determining parameter for example; doctors or pharmacists tend to pursue the effectiveness of drugs on their patients to realize that what changes are vital. This easy subject is not possible unless mathematics graphs or processing data contribute as a main way. To conclude, although, it might seems that new jobs are apart from cognition of math, my compelling reason which was delineated in this essay is into fact that not only have mathematics assisted in previous progress, but also future jobs cannot be separated from math knowledges.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
sciences have played key role in revolutionizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and among them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
impact is not deniable.
However
, these days we
are confronted
with assertion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
is on longer requisite in may major and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are unanimous, I completely disagree with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
is known
as a root of progress in any branches of industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
That is
, if scientists were not
thoroughly
acquainted with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
, they could not achieve to what have made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
more convenient. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is invention of computers and industrial machines which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
Possible agreement error. The noun aspect seems to be countable; consider using: "many aspects".
many aspect
of life.
Undoubtedly
, designing of high rise towers or even producing
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'complicate' is correct. If 'complicate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a complicate
vehicle without attending computers will be intangible. This in turn clarify that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
modern societies are
significantly
correlated with mathematics.

In addition
, another argument against such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is that the more the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
become modern, the more necessaries
are felt
to equation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
. To put it
differently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that are not considered these days to
be related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a close relation with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the newest".
newest
data in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
. Take medical profession which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
as a determining parameter
for example
; doctors or pharmacists tend to pursue the effectiveness of drugs on their patients to realize that what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are vital. This easy subject is not possible unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
graphs or processing data contribute as a main way.

To conclude
, although, it might
The verb 'might' requires the base form of the verb: "seem"
seems
that new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are apart from cognition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
, my compelling reason which
was delineated
in this essay is into fact that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
assisted in previous progress,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
cannot
be separated
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
.
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IELTS essay A knowledge of maths is not important for most jobs nowadays. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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