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Smoking in public places should be restricted agree or disagree

Smoking in public places should be restricted agree or disagree 0OMQ
It has always been argued how smoking publically not only causes health issues to the smoker but also to the people around them. I am in strong opinion of restricting the use of cigarettes and similar products being used in public. First of all, the main concern of smoking in common areas is passive smoking which indirectly affects the person around a smoker. Even though the person is not smoking he is unknowingly inhaling the same harmful fumes of the cigarette. Studies have proven that aftereffects of passive smoking can be as harmful as regular ones. In my opinion, if public smoking is banned this will indirectly benefit the health of people around common areas. Secondly, if public smoking is banned this will also add a restriction on smokers as they will not have such public areas available for these activities. This may even lead to the reduction of smoking habits of the people all around. For example, if there is a strict law of not using common places for smoking, this leaves very less accessible areas for such acts. So in and all, adding a restriction to smoke in public will definitely add to the advantage of common people.
It has always
been argued
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
publically
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
causes health issues to the smoker
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
them. I am in strong opinion of restricting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cigarettes and similar products being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in public.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the main concern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
areas is passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
which
indirectly
affects the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
a smoker.
“Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even though
the person is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
he is
unknowingly
inhaling the same harmful fumes of the cigarette. Studies have proven that aftereffects of passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
can be as harmful as regular ones. In my opinion, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is banned
this will
indirectly
benefit the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
areas.

Secondly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is banned
this will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
a restriction on smokers as they will not have such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
areas available for these activities. This may even lead to the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
habits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
.
For example
, if there is a strict law of not using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
places for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less accessible areas for such acts.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in and all, adding a restriction to smoke in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Smoking in public places should be restricted agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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