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some people argue that we should not harm animals while occur claim that human must use them discuss both views and give your opinion

some people argue that we should not harm animals while occur claim that human must use them discuss both views and give your opinion Q05L
Animals are a part of nature, as humans are. However, in recent times the exploitation of animals has increased, causing animals to extinct. Some people believe that humans have the rights to exploit animals for their own benefit, while others disagree. There are several reasons for people believing that animals can be used for the benefit of mankind. Firstly, there is a common belief that humans are the highest of the species in hierarchy. This means that if by experimenting on animals we can fight and find cures for diseases, then this takes priority over animal suffering. Secondly, animals are assumed to feel no pain or suffering as humans do, and therefore to kill animals is morally acceptable. However, some people are of the opinion, that animals are very much the part of nature as we humans are. To prove this fact, several experiments have been done on animals which clearly prove that they feel the same amount of suffering and loss as humans do. Even more, a considerable amount of research on animals are done for cosmetics, rather than diseases, so it must be avoided. Also, it has been proved that humans can get all the vitamins and minerals from green vegetables, which makes eating or exploiting animals avoidable. Overall, although some people argue killing animals for research and food is ethical, in my opinion, exploiting animals will extinct them and cause imbalance in nature.
Animals
are a part of nature, as
humans
are.
However
, in recent times the exploitation of
animals
has increased, causing
animals
to extinct.
Some
people
believe that
humans
have the rights to exploit
animals
for their
own
benefit, while others disagree.

There are several reasons for
people
believing that
animals
can be
used
for the benefit of mankind.
Firstly
, there is a common belief that
humans
are the highest of the species in hierarchy. This means that if by experimenting on
animals
we can fight and find cures for diseases, then this takes priority over
animal
suffering.
Secondly
,
animals
are assumed
to feel no pain or suffering as
humans
do, and
therefore
to kill
animals
is
morally
acceptable.

However
,
some
people
are of the opinion, that
animals
are
very
much the part of nature as we
humans
are. To prove this fact, several experiments have
been done
on
animals
which
clearly
prove that they feel the same amount of suffering and loss as
humans
do. Even more, a considerable amount of research on
animals
are done
for cosmetics,
rather
than diseases,
so
it
must
be avoided
.
Also
, it has
been proved
that
humans
can
get
all the vitamins and minerals from green vegetables, which
makes
eating or exploiting
animals
avoidable.

Overall
, although
some
people
argue killing
animals
for research and food is ethical, in my opinion, exploiting
animals
will extinct them and cause imbalance in nature.
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IELTS essay some people argue that we should not harm animals while occur claim that human must use them discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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