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some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion. EJLR
The subject of people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages has been fiercly debated. I completly agree that music helps bring people from various generations and cultures. I will give my reasson to support why I agree with this statement. Firstly, nowdays, music have a lot of genres such as Rnb, Pop, Kpop and many more. Music is the composition of lyrics, melody, instruments and feelings that articulate our life. For instance, I stan boy group from South Korea, the name is BTS. They have various song with lyrics that relate to our life. A good example here is zero o'clock by BTS. This song is to reflect on their past and the struggles they have faced to reach to where they are now. They are not only make music with useless lyrics, their music and lyrics are so meaningful. I amazed because this is the first time I stan the music group. The reason why I amazed because I think that people who stan the music group is only a students like me, but the reality is not. There are a lot of people with different ages or cultures that listen to their song, from students to people in their twilight years, they all enjoy the touching melody of BTS's song. In sum, People of all ages can be brought closer by their shared taste of music as there is no place for ageism in music. I completely agree that music can help us overcome the gap between people of differnt cultures or ages. To try and form a conclusion then, I think that music has become the universal languange that unites the people around the world, regardless of nationality, race, or religion. It is believed that music is a worthy approach to connect fans even though their cultural background and age group may be different.
The subject of
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people
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say
that
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music
is a
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good
way of bringing
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people
of
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different
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cultures
and
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ages
has been
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fiercly
debated. I
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completly
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agree
that
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music
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helps
bring
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people
from various generations and
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cultures
. I will give my
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reasson
to support why I
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agree
with this statement.

Firstly
,
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nowdays
,
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music
have
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a lot of
genres such as
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Rnb
, Pop,
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Kpop
and
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many
more.
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Music
is the composition of lyrics, melody, instruments and feelings that articulate our life.
For instance
,
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I stan
boy
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group
from South Korea, the name is BTS. They have various song with lyrics that relate to our life. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is zero o'clock by BTS. This song is to reflect on their past and the struggles they have faced to reach to where they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. They are not
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only
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make
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music
with useless lyrics, their
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music
and lyrics are
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so
meaningful. I amazed
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because
this is the
first
time
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I stan
the
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music
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group
. The reason why I amazed
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because
I
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think
that
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people
who
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stan
the
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music
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group
is
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only
a students like me,
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but
the reality is not. There are
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a lot of
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people
with
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different
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ages
or
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cultures
that listen to their song, from students to
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people
in their twilight years, they all enjoy the touching melody of BTS's song. In sum,
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People
of all
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ages
can
be brought
closer by their shared taste of
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music
as there is no place for ageism in
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music
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
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music
can
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help
us overcome the gap between
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people
of
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differnt
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cultures
or ages.

To
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
form a conclusion then, I
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think
that
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music
has become the universal
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languange
that unites the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world, regardless of nationality, race, or religion. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a worthy approach to connect fans
even though
their cultural background and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
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IELTS essay some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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