Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say music is a good way of bringing people from different culture and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Some people say music is a good way of bringing people from different culture and ages together. with this opinion. Ng9N
Our world consists of plethora of music. Some people believe various culture and people with different age groups can be joined together through music. I have a mixed opinion for the aforementioned notion. In the forthcoming paragraph, I will give reasons to support my answer. To commence with, countries have their own traditional music and visitors enjoy them. Besides, music school organize the student exchange program that help masses to understand music of different culture. Moreover, an individual can use this knowledge to compose a new version, having the combination of two or more genre of music. For instance, lndo-western music, it has a flavour of both indian and western culture. Anothet example, is the music of famous composer AR Rehman his music have inspiration from indian classical, along with use of numerous musical instrument from different parts of the world. On the other hand, music nowadays are more louder, which is predominantly liked by younger generation. In addition, older people prefer listening to music which are soft and melodious. Music like pop, rock, and metal can never be elder's favourite. Nevertheless, they may like the rhythm of new songs, their soul is in the old. A renowned newspaper articled that, proportion of elders attending the concert is merely 10% if it is a modern music and 80% if it is of their younger age. Thus, depending on type of music audience can differ. To sum up, according to me, music brings culture together. As it does not have a language, still understood by masses. However, modern music can be popular among youngster, it is not enjoyed by the elder generation.
Our world consists of plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
together through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. I have a mixed opinion for the aforementioned notion. In the forthcoming paragraph, I will give reasons to support my answer.

To commence with, countries have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and visitors enjoy them.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
school organize the student exchange program that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
masses to understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Moreover
, an individual can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this knowledge to compose a new version, having the combination of two or more
Possible agreement error. The noun 'genre' seems to be countable, so consider using: "genres".
genre
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
lndo-western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, it has a
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
of both
Possible spelling mistake found.
indian
and western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Anothet
example, is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
composer AR
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rehman
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
have inspiration from
Possible spelling mistake found.
indian
classical, along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of numerous musical instrument from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
nowadays are
Use only "louder" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more louder
, which is
predominantly
liked by younger generation.
In addition
, older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which are soft and melodious.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
like pop, rock, and metal can never be elder's
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
.
Nevertheless
, they may like the rhythm of new songs, their soul is in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. A renowned newspaper articled that, proportion of elders attending the concert is
merely
10% if it is a modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and 80% if it is of their younger age.
Thus
, depending on type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
audience can differ.

To sum up, according to me,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
together. As it does not have a language,
still
understood by masses.
However
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can be popular among youngster, it is not enjoyed by the elder generation.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people say music is a good way of bringing people from different culture and ages together. with this opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts