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Whether or not the perception of some difficult time in life is more efficient than seeking for its solutions is in the issue of interest. While there are some people saying that to mitigate the problems in life, we are not able to do anything but accept them, some believe that doing so is quite an ineffective way which we cannot bring any good mood or better evaluation of happiness. This essay points out rationales behind the two contrasting viewpoints before its conclusion is reached. For many people, to understand what really happened is the only way to improve a bad situation. This is due to the fact that in this mundane society, humans’ hard time is always generated uncontrollably and we, as they believe, cannot resist on the impact of all troubles. An example to support this view is the environmental issue such as global warming or the intermittent rain in tropical areas which is seen as one of the most human-affected problems these days. Furthermore, these people emphasize on

Whether or not the perception of some difficult time in life is more efficient than seeking for its solutions is in the issue of interest. While there are some people saying that to mitigate the problems in life, we are not able to do anything but accept them, some believe that doing so is quite an ineffective way which we cannot bring any good mood or better evaluation of happiness. This essay points out rationales behind the two contrasting viewpoints before its conclusion is reached. For many people, to understand what really happened is the only way to improve a bad situation. This is due to the fact that in this mundane society, humans’ hard time is always generated uncontrollably and we, as they believe, cannot resist on the impact of all troubles. An example to support this view is the environmental issue such as global warming or the intermittent rain in tropical areas which is seen as one of the most human-affected problems these days. Furthermore, these people emphasize on xpkw
Whether or not the perception of some difficult time in life is more efficient than seeking for its solutions is in the issue of interest. While there are some people saying that to mitigate the problems in life, we are not able to do anything but accept them, some believe that doing so is quite an ineffective way which we cannot bring any good mood or better evaluation of happiness. This essay points out rationales behind the two contrasting viewpoints before its conclusion is reached. For many people, to understand what really happened is the only way to improve a bad situation. This is due to the fact that in this mundane society, humans’ hard time is always generated uncontrollably and we, as they believe, cannot resist on the impact of all troubles. An example to support this view is the environmental issue such as global warming or the intermittent rain in tropical areas which is seen as one of the most human-affected problems these days. Furthermore, these people emphasize on their happiness rather than focusing on the agitating problems. However, although there were a great number of people ignoring to solve a bad occurrence in life, it can be noticed that finding the way to eradicate the cause of the problems is the most reasonable way leading them to happiness for its consequence not being able to affect our walk of life. The assumption underlying this is that these people hold fast the notion that should the issue be built up, its cause can be declined. As a result, this kind of people always make an effort to solve the problems. An ample evidence to support this justification is that if there was a lack of money happening in their working skills and cooperation. In addition, these individuals are somewhat ambitious and they typically try not to be a part of the problems. In conclusion, despite the large number of people being negligent to the solution against an awful occurrence, it is obviously found that there are a lot of people continuing to search for the alleviation of the problems as well. In my perspective, I agree with the latter since it is going to come up with the better quality of atmosphere and make us more developed.
Consider shortening this phrase to just "Whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Whether or not
the perception of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficult time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is more efficient than seeking for its solutions is in the issue of interest. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
saying that to mitigate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, we are not able to do anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
accept them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is quite an ineffective way which we cannot bring any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mood or better evaluation of happiness. This essay points out rationales behind the two contrasting viewpoints
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
its conclusion
is reached
.

For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, to understand what
really
happened is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation.
This is due to the fact that
in this mundane society, humans’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time is always generated
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
uncontrollably and
we, as they believe, cannot resist on the impact of all troubles. An example to support this view is the environmental issue such as global warming or the intermittent rain in tropical areas which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as one of the most human-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
these days.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
emphasize on their happiness
rather
than focusing on the agitating problems.

However
, although there were a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ignoring to solve a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
occurrence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it can
be noticed
that finding the way to eradicate the cause of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is the most reasonable way leading them to happiness for its consequence not being able to affect our walk of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The assumption underlying this is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
the notion that should the issue
be built
up, its cause can
be declined
.
As a result
, this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. An ample evidence to support this justification is that if there was a lack of money happening in their working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and cooperation.
In addition
, these individuals are somewhat
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ambitious and
they
typically
try not to be a part of the problems.

In conclusion
, despite the large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being negligent to the solution against an awful occurrence, it is
obviously
found that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continuing to search for the alleviation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as well
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter since it is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with the better quality of atmosphere and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us more developed.
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IELTS essay Whether or not the perception of some difficult time in life is more efficient than seeking for its solutions is in the issue of interest. While there are some people saying that to mitigate the problems in life, we are not able to do anything but accept them, some believe that doing so is quite an ineffective way which we cannot bring any good mood or better evaluation of happiness. This essay points out rationales behind the two contrasting viewpoints before its conclusion is reached. For many people, to understand what really happened is the only way to improve a bad situation. This is due to the fact that in this mundane society, humans’ hard time is always generated uncontrollably and we, as they believe, cannot resist on the impact of all troubles. An example to support this view is the environmental issue such as global warming or the intermittent rain in tropical areas which is seen as one of the most human-affected problems these days. Furthermore, these people emphasize on

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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