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SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE IT IS IMPORTANT TO GIVE GIFTS AND PRESENTS TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO SHOW THAT WE CARE OF THEM. OTHERS THINK THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO SHOW AFFECTION TO THEM. DISCUSS BOTH THE VIEWS AND GIVE OUR OPINION.

SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE IT IS IMPORTANT TO GIVE GIFTS AND PRESENTS TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO SHOW THAT WE CARE OF THEM. OTHERS THINK THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO SHOW AFFECTION TO THEM. Djp6
Gifts or presents, are considered token of love by many. Distributing them among relatives or family members on certain occasions, is a common practice observed in humans. Some are citing that by giving presents, they express feeling of concern for the recipient. For some, there are better ways to express the same feeling. My essay would discuss both the viewpoints. Gifts bring joy and happiness in person’s life. Imagine a person’s wish to purchase a costly watch. Due to limited money, he/she is unable to buy it. However, same watch being given as gift to that person will bring a smile on his face. That is what people do, to see that sweet smile, they purchase and give gifts to their relatives. This proves, by doing this deed, humans show a sense of concern for each other. In addition, gifts are for persons, who feels limited while expressing the concern for others. There is no need to explain much or speak lies, to show how persons care for each other. People, who give gifts, are always true in showing concern, otherwise who would spend money to just make another person happy. In contrast, trend of giving gifts is often termed status symbol by many. Humans are giving gifts, to exhibit the wealth dominance among relatives and that is the reason why people are against this trend. A good telephonic conversation could be enough to express the concern for relatives. There is no need to spend heavily, if people are meeting loved one’s more frequently. Gift brings just temporary form of happiness in comparison to physical and emotional support, which stays for eternity. For example, imagine a situation of old parents, for whom presents are just useless. For parents, love and support from their children is sufficient to show their concern for them. In my view, gifts are useful when people want to show concern for others in a unique way. There cannot be a much simpler and beautiful way to express the gratitude for concerned person. Although, trend of giving gifts is becoming more of status symbol and is not true way of showing concern for someone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gifts
or presents,
are considered
token of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. Distributing them among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
or family members on certain occasions, is a common practice observed in humans.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are citing that by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
presents, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
express
feeling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concern
for the recipient. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, there are better ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
express
the same feeling. My essay would discuss both the viewpoints.

Gifts bring joy and happiness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
life. Imagine a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a costly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
. Due to limited money, he/she is unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it.
However
, same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will bring a smile on his face.
That is
what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that sweet smile, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
. This proves, by doing this deed, humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concern
for each other.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
are for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
, who feels limited while expressing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concern
for others. There is no need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
much or speak lies, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
care for each other.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
, who give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
, are always true in showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concern
,
otherwise
who would spend money to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
happy.

In contrast
, trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
termed status symbol by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. Humans are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
, to exhibit the wealth dominance among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
and
that is
the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are against this trend. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
telephonic conversation could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
express
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concern
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
. There is no need to spend
heavily
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are meeting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one’s more
frequently
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gift
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
temporary form of happiness
in comparison
to physical and emotional support, which stays for eternity.
For example
, imagine a situation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
parents, for whom presents are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
useless. For parents,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and support from their children is sufficient to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concern
for them.

In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
are useful when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concern
for others
Consider replacing "in a unique way" with the adverb for "unique"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a unique way
. There cannot be a much simpler and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
express
the gratitude for concerned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. Although, trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
is becoming more of status symbol and is not
Please check whether an article is missing: "a true".
true
way of showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concern
for someone.
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IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE IT IS IMPORTANT TO GIVE GIFTS AND PRESENTS TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO SHOW THAT WE CARE OF THEM. OTHERS THINK THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO SHOW AFFECTION TO THEM.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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