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Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved? qBYX
A lot of small, local shops are falling into crisis as a result of supermarkets are outweighing them. I will discuss two main causes such as old buildings and poor quality products. Also, I will suggest two solutions including design of stores and improving quality of products. Two main causes of facing of shops to fall are old buildings and poor quality products. Everyone want to buy high quality products at the modern shops because products in supermarkets are more superior to products in shops. For example, when it was surveyed 60% of people said to buy products from supermarkets. For these reasons above If shops are not designed of look and improve quality of products they may close or fall into crisis.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are falling into crisis
as a result
of supermarkets are outweighing them.

I will discuss two main causes such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buildings and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Also
, I will suggest two solutions including design of stores and improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of products.

Two main causes of facing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
to fall are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buildings and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Everyone
The pronoun 'Everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in supermarkets are more superior to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
For example
, when it
was surveyed
60% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
said to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from supermarkets. For these reasons above If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are not designed of look and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
they may close or fall into crisis.

IELTS essay Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
123 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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