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Some people argue that university students should live in dormitories. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that university students should live in dormitories. 6pgO8
It is argued that university student should reside in schools. While there are some arguments against this idea, I believe that it is beneficial to some extent. On the one hand, there are several reasons why some people think university students should not live at school. Firstly, when students board at school, they can lack privacy. This is due to the fact that they have too many roommates. For example, in some Vietnamese universities, a dormitory can accommodate 12 people. Therefore, they may feel uncomfortable when they do not have a private space to perform personal tasks. Secondly, university students are highly vulnerable to social evils. This makes sense because they might befriend bad people. On the other hand, I claim that the school is still an ideal place for college students to live in. One reason for believing this is that the school is a great place for relationship development. This is because students can meet a lot of people from different regions. Another reason is that living at school allows students to develop their maturity. The fact is that students do not live with their parents, they become more independent when making decisions related to their life such as financial matters and work. In conclusion, each idea has both merits and demerits. While living in halls of residence may be detrimental as students may lack their private room and be lured into antisocial activities, I suppose that the merits, such as the enlargement of social circles and the development of independence, should be valued.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should reside in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments against this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, I believe that it is beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Firstly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
board at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they can lack privacy.
This is due to the fact that
they have too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
roommates.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, a dormitory can accommodate 12
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
, they may feel uncomfortable when they do not have a private space to perform personal tasks.
Secondly
,
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university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
highly
vulnerable to social evils.
Did you mean "these"?
This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they might befriend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, I claim that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
still
an ideal place for college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. One reason for believing this is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a great place for relationship development. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions. Another reason is that living at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to develop their maturity. The fact is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their parents, they become more independent when making decisions related to their life such as financial matters and work.

In conclusion
, each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
has both merits and demerits. While living in halls of residence may be detrimental as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may lack their private room and
be lured
into antisocial activities, I suppose that the merits, such as the enlargement of social circles and the development of independence, should
be valued
.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that university students should live in dormitories.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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