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Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised in the correct place. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised in the correct place. OqJG
There are a number of people who consider that is is cruvial for everybody to keep their living and work place clean and tidy. However some people do not prefer to do this, I would argue we need to be steady. Beginning with work places, today lots of works are computer based in the contrast of past time so that, they are like a tiny box and we can keep hundreds documents in it. On the contrary, 50 years ago we did not have any opportunity to gather all documents in a little box this is reason, it was customed for workplaces being untidy during the day. In addition to this, nowadays all machines are twice small so consequently, in my mind due to the all chance we have got, it is easier for us and it would be better to stay organised all time. Besides all of I said, sometimes people who work or study most part of their day can be busy a lot that is why during the day, they do not have any time to clean their home or doing house chores. As a result, these type of people homes are not tidy every time. For instance, students spend much time at university, or studying at home and some of them possess part time job. As it can be seen in this situation it is impossible to seperate a time for cleaning but, if they put the stuffs back instead of leaving around when they utilize, then in my mind, their home will be more regular. In conclucion, I mostly believe everybody should be steady possibly for living more comfortable life.
There are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who consider that
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
Possible spelling mistake found.
cruvial
for everybody to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their living and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place clean and tidy.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not prefer to do this, I would argue we need to be steady.

Beginning with
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work
places,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
lots of works are computer based in the contrast of past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, they are like a tiny
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
box and
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
hundreds documents in it.
On the contrary
, 50 years ago we did not have any opportunity to gather all documents in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
box this is reason, it was
Possible spelling mistake found.
customed
for workplaces being untidy during the day.
In addition
to this, nowadays all machines are twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
consequently
, in my mind due to the all chance we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
, it is easier for us and it would be better to stay
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
all time.

Besides
all of I said,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or study most part of their day can be busy a lot
that is
why during the day, they do not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to clean their home or doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores.
As a result
, these type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are not tidy every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For instance
, students spend much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at university, or studying at home and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them possess part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
job. As it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in this situation it is impossible to
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperate
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for cleaning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, if they put the stuffs back
instead
of leaving around when they utilize, then in my mind, their home will be more regular.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conclucion
, I
mostly
believe everybody should be steady
possibly
for living more comfortable life.
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IELTS essay Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised in the correct place.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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