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Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in todays world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

History as the name suggests is a subject includes the incidents that took place many years before, which some people think as the most important subject. while some people believes that in this present time why to study about the past, rather then we should study subjects like science and technology which can leads to development of human kind in future. However subjects like history cannot be neglected as it describes what happens in the past era due to which we have evolved in a particular way. By learning subjects like history will give a brief information about their own country and freedom fighters who fought bravely for countrys freedom and preserve the constitution of the country. As all civil services exam will have questions from history in highest proportion so one who wants to be a civil servant has to study history compulsory. On the other hand some people think that in this modern world there is no need to remember old dates of incidents happened in past which I totally agree. furthermore they also think that subjects like science and technology should be given more importance than history, as we all know science and technology is everywhere like from a small object like a mechanical pen to a giant space rockect, so there is huge area to study according to ones interest and which in future by any means going to help society. Every year many new inventions are coming which helps to ease their work for example a simple invention of round shaped wheel is being used in day to day life from vehicles to huge factories all of these use wheel to make complex things simple. In my view subjects like science and technology should be given more emphasise than subjects like history but for the students whose dream is to serve nation and wants to do job in civil services then for them history should given more importance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
as the name suggests is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
includes the incidents that took place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
as the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that in this present time why to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
about the past,
rather
Did you mean “than”? ‘than’ is used for comparisons, ‘then’ is an expression of time.
then
we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which can leads to development of
This word is normally spelled as one.
human kind
The phrase ‘in future’ is British English. Did you mean: “in the future”?
in future
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
cannot
be neglected
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
what happens in the past era due to which we have evolved in a particular way. By learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
will give a brief information about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country and freedom fighters who fought
bravely
for
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “countries”, the plural form of the noun ‘country’?
countrys
freedom and preserve the constitution of the country.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
all civil services exam will have questions from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in
A determiner is probably missing here: “the highest”.
highest
proportion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one who wants to be a civil servant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
compulsory.

On the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in this modern world there is no need to remember
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
dates of incidents happened in past which I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
furthermore
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more importance than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, as we all know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is everywhere like from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
object like a mechanical pen to a giant space
Possible spelling mistake found.
rockect
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is huge area to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
according to
Did you mean “one’s”?
ones
interest and which in future by any means going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
society. Every year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new inventions are coming which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
their work
for example
a simple invention of round shaped wheel is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in day to day life from vehicles to huge factories all of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
wheel to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
complex things simple.

In my view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more
Possible spelling mistake. ‘emphasise’ is British English.
emphasise
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for the students whose dream is to serve nation and wants to do job in civil services then for them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
should
Did you mean “have given” or “give”?
given
more importance.
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IELTS essay Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in todays world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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