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In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

Youngsters are encouraged to do work in a few countries or travel for one year between finishing school and starting higher education in universities. Although working before further studies in universities can give them work experience, it will also increase the gap. The main benefit of working or travelling between school and in pursuing higher education is work experience which they will get. As people go to the corporate world and there they get so many opportunities to get enough experience. For instance, in India, many people choose to work after 12th class and they enhance their experience first and then they go for further studies. So, a year can be very advantageous for a person to gain corporate experience. However, it will increase the gap if they will do work or travel for a year after completing high school. It's because working for a year will result in less concentration when they will start studying again in University. For example, in Singapore, many people are working after high school and this increased the year gap. So the time gap will be a disadvantage as they will not be able to concentrate on studying again. In conclusion, the younger generation is influenced to work or travel in some countries after the completion of high school and before starting education in University.
Youngsters
are encouraged
to do
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work
in a few countries or travel for one
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year
between finishing
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school
and starting higher education in
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universities
. Although
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working
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before
further
studies in
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universities
can give them
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work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, it will
also
increase the gap.

The main benefit of
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working
or travelling between
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school
and in pursuing higher education is
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work
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experience
which they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to the corporate world and there they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
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experience
.
For instance
, in India,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after 12th
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
class and
they enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
first and
then they go for
further
studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, a
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year
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
advantageous for a person to gain corporate experience.

However
, it will increase the gap if they will do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or travel for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after completing high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. It's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
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working
for a
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year
will result in less concentration when they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
studying again in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
.
For example
, in Singapore,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
after high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and this increased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
gap.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the time gap will be a disadvantage as they will not be able to concentrate on studying again.

In conclusion
, the younger generation
is influenced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or travel in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries after the completion of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting education in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
.
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IELTS essay In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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