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In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

In many countries, some people believe that younger generations should go to work or travel for a year in between completing high school and starting university studies. Firstly there are so many benefits which helps in long term to youngsters like how to deal with peoples, work ethics etc. Youngsters have no idea about the real world so they will get to know how things work in reality. for working almost a year makes you unique in the group. Last but not the least this would help them to showcase their skills as well as to choose a right career path for example many youngsters believe that it was easy to them to choose a specific career after they worked in their field of interest. However for every positive there is a negative a gap year is occurred in their academics. This means students will leave behind from their fellow students. For example many scholarships do not allow students which have a gap year in their academics. To sum up, the essay considered that taking a break to travel or work in between high school and university studies can be beneficial for profession and personal development. On the other hand it can delay your academic progress.
In
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many
countries,
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some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that younger generations should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or travel for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in between completing high school and starting university studies.
Firstly
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in long term to youngsters like how to deal with peoples,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
ethics etc. Youngsters have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the real world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know how things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in reality.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
for
working almost a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you unique in the group. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to showcase their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
as to choose a right career path
for example
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters believe that it was easy to them to choose a specific career after they worked in their field of interest.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
for every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is occurred
in their academics. This means students will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
behind from their fellow students.
For example
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scholarships do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
students which have a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in their academics. To sum up, the essay considered that taking a break to travel or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in between high school and university studies can be beneficial for profession and personal development.
On the other hand
it can delay your academic progress.
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IELTS essay In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
206 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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