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SOME PEOPLE SAID THAT OUR SOCIETY TODAY IS MUCH MORE DEMANDING THAN EVER BEFORE. WHAT SHOULD GRADUATES PREPARE FOR THEMSELVE TO BE SUCESSFUL IN THEIR FUTURE CAREER AFTER GRADUATING FROM UNIVERSITY.

SOME PEOPLE SAID THAT OUR SOCIETY TODAY IS MUCH MORE DEMANDING THAN EVER BEFORE. WHAT SHOULD GRADUATES PREPARE FOR THEMSELVE TO BE SUCESSFUL IN THEIR FUTURE CAREER AFTER GRADUATING FROM UNIVERSITY. Oyl5k
It is quite apparent that the today society is becoming much more demanding than ever before. This phenomenon comes with the consequence that graduates and even undergraduates should make good preparations for themselves otherwise they’ll face a lot of difficulties in finding satisfactory jobs. To begin with, the career environment in the present age is extremely competitive that lots of graduates can easily be overwhelmed initially. Therefore, university students should prepare carefully for themselves before graduate. First and foremost, undergraduate should cultivate both expertise and practical skills. Because, if their only concern is grades, they may lack ability to solve real-world problems in the most efficient way. However, if scholars just focusing on real-life experience and neglect their studies, they can easily have bad grades. Consequently, it can be hard for them to find high-paid jobs because employers often take a look of their scores before decide whether to interview them or not. That’s the reason why there should be a balance way for university students to study and work at the same time. Another consideration in this case is that joining graduate fair – an activity that employers from different companies come to recruit employees. This helps students build up their confidence and improve communication skill when being interviewed by employers. Also, graduate opens plenty of job opportunities for students who afraid they’ll be unemployed after graduated, especially juniors and seniors. One thing which is equally important is that practice emotional intelligence. Besides IQ, EQ seems to be equally important because it helps people know what others’ strong and weak points, what others’ feelings, … in order to compete easily. Also, high EQ contribute to keep connections between people and people. These relationships could be the key to their future career opportunities for years to come. In conclusion, I believe the fact that the present age society is much more demanding than ever before. Therefore, graduates should prepare carefully for themselves to achieve successful in the future.
It is quite apparent that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
society is becoming much more demanding than ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
. This phenomenon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with the consequence that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and even undergraduates should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
preparations for themselves
otherwise
they’ll face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
difficulties in finding satisfactory jobs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the career environment in the present age is
extremely
competitive that lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
can
easily
be overwhelmed
initially
.
Therefore
, university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should prepare
carefully
for themselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
.
First
and foremost, undergraduate should cultivate both expertise and practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, if their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
concern is grades, they may lack ability to solve real-world problems in the most efficient way.
However
, if scholars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focusing on real-life experience and neglect their studies, they can
easily
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
grades.
Consequently
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to find high-paid jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
employers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
take a look of their scores
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
decide whether to interview them or not. That’s the reason why there should be a balance way for university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study and work at the same time. Another consideration
in this case
is that joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
an activity that employers from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to recruit employees. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
build up their confidence and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
when
being interviewed
by employers.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
opens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of job opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who afraid they’ll
be unemployed
after graduated,
especially
juniors and seniors. One thing which is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is that practice emotional intelligence.
Besides
IQ, EQ seems to be
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know what others’ strong and weak points, what others’ feelings, … in order to compete
easily
.
Also
, high EQ contribute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
connections between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. These relationships could be the key to their future career opportunities for years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.

In conclusion
, I believe the fact that the present age society is much more demanding than ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
should prepare
carefully
for themselves to achieve successful in the future.
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IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE SAID THAT OUR SOCIETY TODAY IS MUCH MORE DEMANDING THAN EVER BEFORE. WHAT SHOULD GRADUATES PREPARE FOR THEMSELVE TO BE SUCESSFUL IN THEIR FUTURE CAREER AFTER GRADUATING FROM UNIVERSITY.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
328 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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