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"Some people said that advertisements make us buy things we do not need in our daily lives" to an extent what do you agree?

"Some people said that advertisements make us buy things we do not need in our daily lives" to an extent what do you agree? e8erA
It is often said that people purchase unnecessary goods through advertisements. I strongly believe that these days, all ages people are more dependent on social media and modify their thinking processes. Firstly, in the modern era, publicity plays a vital role to encourage people to buy the product whether it is important in their life or useless. For instance, if anyone surveyed this particular work then the result would be that 99% of the young generation are engaged with these activities. A good illustrates my best friend most of the time shopping to online and also a street shop which located beside their homes. She preferred from there due to the fact of convenience. I saw she have lots of stuff that does not use on a day-to-day basis. However, she purchases only the reason stands that material looks lucrative. Another essential argument is that people buy commodities only because of packaging. Even sellers advertise their products that anyone can be paid for without thinking. That is the marketing strategy to keep their customers and to establish trust between them. In addition, several groups of young people especially those who are a teenager they do not understand what is needed to their everyday life so that shoppers are easily diverted to their minds. Nowadays, They depend on social networking services, particularly Facebook where the live program is organized in a glamorous way consequently that people can buy their product. In conclusion, for a brand or logo, sometimes people buy unimportant products which do not exist in their everyday lives. Government should take the step for this type of ad issue and ensure a rich world heritage for future generations.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
through advertisements. I
strongly
believe that these days, all ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more dependent on social media and modify their thinking processes.

Firstly
, in the modern era, publicity plays a vital role to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the product whether it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in their life or useless.
For instance
, if anyone surveyed this particular work then the result would be that 99% of the young generation
are engaged
with these activities. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustrates my best friend most of the time shopping to online and
also
a street shop which located beside their homes. She preferred from there due to the fact of convenience. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
she have lots of stuff that does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
on a day-to-day basis.
However
, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the reason stands that material looks lucrative.

Another essential argument is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
commodities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of packaging. Even sellers advertise their products that anyone can
be paid
for without thinking.
That is
the marketing strategy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their customers and to establish trust between them.
In addition
, several groups of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
those who are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
they do not understand what
is needed
to their everyday life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that shoppers are
easily
diverted to their minds. Nowadays, They depend on social networking services,
particularly
Facebook where the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
program
is organized
Consider replacing "in a glamorous way" with the adverb for "glamorous"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a glamorous way
consequently
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
their product.

In conclusion
, for a brand or logo,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unimportant products which do not exist in their everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should take the step for this type of ad issue and ensure a rich world heritage for future generations.
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IELTS essay "Some people said that advertisements make us buy things we do not need in our daily lives" to an extent what do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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