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In your opinion, is it more important to try to preserve such sites or to allow public access to them?

In your opinion, is it more important to try to preserve such sites or to allow public access to them? pb5PL
These days tourism has become one of the most widespread fields in the world. So, a large number of tourists influxes to the countries to spend a holiday, on business, and so on. It can impact delicate archeological sites that can symbolize the countries. In my view, there are a lot of advantages of making it accessible to the public which outweighs the drawbacks. One evident disadvantage to making these sites accessible to everyone is that when it becomes an overcrowded area, it will be the culprit that can cause conflicts and misconceptions among people and staff. In other words, some people cannot be appropriate to visit these archeological places because of their importance to the country. On the other hand, there are also upsides to making a chance for all people to see ancient places. For example, it is a good source of income for governments that can pull in a large number of tourists because they are fond of cost-free sites. Moreover, it can seem very attractive for people of all ages. For instance, the teachers are interested in traveling to such places with their students, and they can gain educational experience such as history. Consequently, it is also very rewarding for people and the government to make sites accessible to whole people. To sum up, although allowing public access to the sites sometimes can be disadvantageous because of possible misunderstanding and quarrels, also there are a lot of benefits that people prefer this conception.
These
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
tourism has become one of the most widespread fields in the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
tourists influxes to the countries to spend a holiday, on business, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It can impact delicate archeological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
that can symbolize the countries. In my view, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages of making it accessible to the public which outweighs the drawbacks.

One evident disadvantage to making these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
accessible to everyone is that when it becomes an overcrowded area, it will be the culprit that can cause conflicts and misconceptions among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and staff.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot be appropriate to visit these archeological places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their importance to the country.

On the other hand
, there are
also
upsides to making a chance for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
ancient places.
For example
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of income for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
that can pull in
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are fond of cost-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
Moreover
, it can seem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
attractive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all ages.
For instance
, the teachers
are interested
in traveling to such places with their students, and they can gain educational experience such as history.
Consequently
, it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rewarding for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
accessible to whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To sum up, although allowing public access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
can be disadvantageous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of possible misunderstanding and quarrels,
also
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer this conception.
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IELTS essay In your opinion, is it more important to try to preserve such sites or to allow public access to them?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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