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some people said advertisement is an extreme way to persuade people to buy, others think it is more common than before.

some people said advertisement is an extreme way to persuade people to buy, others think it is more common than before. eAL5O
Some people think persuading people to purchase things will be extremely successful by advertising; on the other hand some people believe advertising is so common and people no longer pay attention to it. In this essay i will describe what are the reasons for me to be agree with the first group of people. With Development of techhnology, we are using social medias most of the time, likke when we want to rest or being relax. there are a huge number of posts in social medias, , like Facebook and instagram which are recommending a new product or another page, this kind of advertising forced people to ignore them because they are looks like to eachother. however the aid oof marketing teams is detecting people's behavior when they watch a new advertisment and they want to cease them from ignoring of their content. They used high-quality graphics and images in their advertisement and this shows to people and people can have an interation by clicking them on the internet. Advertising a new product is like a chance to a company for showing the details, Like a new Iphone which introduces by the Apple company every year, and It shows the new features of the camera by an advertising in social medias like The YouTube. When people are watching a funny video, the advertising time started and they will find how this camera works and what is the difference with the old one. Advertising is a science which people can study in universities, and it helps a marketing team to make a different video or image of their product in comparison by similars. With publishing papers in this fields, this kind of science updates and can figure out new problems. As a result, I agree with the first group of people, and i think advertising is a way to persuade people for adding items to their carts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
persuading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things will be
extremely
successful by advertising;
on the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe advertising is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no longer pay attention to it. In this essay
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
what are the reasons for me to be
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with the
first
group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

With Development of
Possible spelling mistake found.
techhnology
, we are using social medias most of the time,
Possible spelling mistake found.
likke
when we want to rest or being
Consider using a past participle here: "relaxed".
relax
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are a huge number of posts in social medias,
Two consecutive commas
,
like Facebook and
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
which are recommending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
product or another page, this kind of advertising forced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are looks like to
Possible spelling mistake found.
eachother
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
the aid
Possible spelling mistake found.
oof
marketing teams is detecting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's behavior when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
advertisment and
they want to cease them from ignoring of their content. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
high-quality graphics and images in their advertisement and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have an
Possible spelling mistake found.
interation
by clicking them on the internet.

Advertising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
product is like a chance to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for showing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, Like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iphone
which introduces by the Apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
every year, and It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
features of the camera by an advertising in social medias like The YouTube. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are watching a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
video, the advertising time
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
started and
they will find how this camera works and what is the difference with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one. Advertising is a science which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can study in universities, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a marketing team to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
video or image of their product
in comparison
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
similars
. With publishing papers in
Did you mean "these"?
this
fields, this kind of science updates and can figure out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
problems.

As a result
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
advertising is a way to persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for adding items to their carts.
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IELTS essay some people said advertisement is an extreme way to persuade people to buy, others think it is more common than before.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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