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Discuss bith view and opinion , government should make law on food , people are independent for diet

Discuss bith view and opinion, government should make law on food, people are independent for diet KlQnw
The importance of getting good health for individuals by the government which was always debatable has now become more controversial with a few people claiming that the government should implement some rules and regulations for the diet of people whereas, it is addressed by others that health is people' personal choice. They can do whatever they want. This essay will further elaborate my views after describing both aspects. There are a plethora of reasons why some people agree with the former assertion. First and the foremost one is that people have busy schedules and they do not have enough time to concentrate on their diet, however if authorities make some stringent laws on nutritious diet then people will focus on their diet which will be fruitful for them. Moreover, the bureaucracy must focus on agricultural things so that farmers will not include chemicals in food. Due to this, people get benefits if the government constructs some rules. Despite having an advantages of making laws on food by authorities, people should take care of themselves. Firstly, individuals are independent about eating; they can eat whatever they want because they are aware what type of foods are beneficial for them. Secondly, it's a person's own responsibility to focus on diet because most of the people who cannot prepare food at home then they always buy from the market. Additionally, the masses want to change their tongue's taste. Therefore, people can eat whatever they want. Following the former view, in this contemporary era, people are suffering from various diseases because they are not taking proper diet, while if it's the responsibility of bureaucracy then they can handle their diet problem. Masses ought to be full of vitamins and nutritious diet. According to the arguments above, one can reach the plausible conclusion that the government should give knowledge to people related to diet and implement laws which will be worthwhile for them.
The importance of getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health for individuals by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
which was always debatable has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become more controversial with a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claiming that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should implement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations for the diet of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whereas, it
is addressed
by others that health is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
' personal choice. They can do whatever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
. This essay will
further
elaborate my views after describing both aspects. There are a plethora of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former assertion.
First
and the foremost one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have busy
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
schedules and
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to concentrate on their diet,
however
if authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stringent laws on nutritious diet then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will focus on their diet which will be fruitful for them.
Moreover
, the bureaucracy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus on agricultural things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that farmers will not include chemicals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Due to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefits if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
constructs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. Despite having
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an advantage" or simply "advantages"?
an advantages
of making laws on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by authorities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take care of themselves.
Firstly
, individuals are independent about eating; they can eat whatever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are aware what type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are beneficial for them.
Secondly
, it's a person's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
responsibility to focus on diet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cannot prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home then they always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from the market.
Additionally
, the masses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their tongue's taste.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can eat whatever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
. Following the former view, in this contemporary era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from various diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not taking proper diet, while if it's the responsibility of bureaucracy then they can handle their diet problem. Masses ought to be full of vitamins and nutritious diet. According to the arguments above, one can reach the plausible conclusion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should give knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
related to diet and implement laws which will be worthwhile for them.
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IELTS essay Discuss bith view and opinion, government should make law on food, people are independent for diet

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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