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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits? Since the development of technology, video games industry has been increasing massively. People enjoy playing electronic games, chirlden in particular. While I accept that these games can sometimes have a positive effect on users, I believe that playing game are more likely to have a harmful impact.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
regard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others,
however
, believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are having an adverse effect on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
outweigh the benefits? Since the development of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
industry has been increasing
massively
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
enjoy playing electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
chirlden
in particular
. While I accept that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on users, I believe that playing game are more likely to have a harmful impact.
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IELTS essay Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
91 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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