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Some people prefer to spend one or two years travelling or working after they finished secondary education, and then start university. Do you regard it as a positive or negative phenomenon?

Some people prefer to spend one or two years travelling or working after they finished secondary education, and then start university. Do you regard it as a positive or negative phenomenon? 6NR1r
Studying at university is a phenomenon exerting enormous pressure on students. A great number of students decide to take a year or two-years gap before going to university, and, instead, explore the world and enjoy by travelling and gain work experience. I firmly believe that these activities open up new horizons for students, which is invaluable for them in the near future. Undoubtedly, pursuing higher education is of great importance for every student, but take a gap to travel provide a context in which students can discover their real passion and interest for fulfilling a career and help them to decide better what to study at university. This is a golden opportunity to become more independent, which is crucial for university life. In addition, having visited historical places and become familiar with different cultures, students obtain a profound insight into global issues. Consequently, be responsible and not be indifferent to other nations and societies have been taught to students. This is why travelling is regarded as a better understanding of the world and even interests and needs of one. Secondly, working before starting tertiary education brings tremendous benefits. In the first stage, working contributes to students feel a sense of identity, self-satisfaction and self-respect. It gives them an opportunity to earn money and reduce the financial burden of academic education to an extent. Furthermore, working can help students to boost their intrapersonal skills and interpersonal skills like socialization and teamwork. Having acquired these skills, students will have better performance at university in comparison with unskilled students who do not experience working. In fact, in a competitive world where work experience is critically important, working after finishing secondary education causes building more and better job opportunity in future and being successful in university courses. In brief, I hold the view that taking a break before pursuing academic education to travel and work is a considerable experience broadening one's knowledge and attitude toward the world or even private life and improving one's skills. These changes lead to students not only have better performance in university or college but also flourish in a future job career.
Studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is a phenomenon exerting enormous pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. A great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decide to take a year or two-years gap
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, and,
instead
, explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and enjoy by travelling and gain work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. I
firmly
believe that these activities open up new horizons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, which is invaluable for them in the near future.

Undoubtedly
, pursuing higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is of great importance for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
take a gap to travel provide a context in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can discover their real passion and interest for fulfilling a career and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to decide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
what to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. This is a golden opportunity to become more independent, which is crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
life.
In addition
, having visited historical places and become familiar with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
obtain a profound insight into global issues.
Consequently
, be responsible and not be indifferent to other nations and societies have
been taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This is why travelling
is regarded
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
understanding of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and even interests and needs of one.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
brings tremendous benefits. In the
first
stage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
contributes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feel a sense of identity, self-satisfaction and self-respect. It gives them an opportunity to earn money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the financial burden of academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to an extent.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to boost their intrapersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like socialization and teamwork. Having acquired these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
performance at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in comparison
with unskilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. In fact, in a competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
where work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is
critically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
after finishing secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
causes building more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
job opportunity in future and being successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
courses.

In brief
, I hold the view that taking a break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
pursuing academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to travel and work is a considerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
broadening one's knowledge and attitude toward the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
or even private life and improving one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
performance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
flourish in a future job career.
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IELTS essay Some people prefer to spend one or two years travelling or working after they finished secondary education, and then start university. Do you regard it as a positive or negative phenomenon?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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