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Many young people who are born in rural areas move to cities. What are the causes? Is it negative or positive?

Many young people who are born in rural areas move to cities. What are the causes? Is it negative or positive? leK2K
Nowadays, immigration to suitable places is the most significant item in over the world. A number of youngsters who are born in countryside come to megacities. This view has disparate reseans. In this essay, I would explain one cause for this idea, also I deem that this subject owns one important drawback. All facilities have been devoted to megapolises. In fact, the government no longer focus on agriculture venues like towns. To more explanation, the whole of amenities, such as equipped hospitals, modern gyms, and recreational activities are in cities, whereas youths who live in villages no longer access to them. Therefore, they are obliged to go to these towns which they could use those facilities as the young who are in towns. For example, in 2009, in Iran, the authorities preferred to spend budget for cities instead of rural spots, as a result villager youths made a plan to emigrate to big cities in order to in rural venues did not own recourses for calmness. Furthermore, there is one main weakness about immigration of youngsters, including distraction of rural areas. In other words, when these individuals decide to settle in cities, other members of the family come to these places because the family would almost always have close relationships with together and they are not able to be further from each other since these spots are filled of ones and the authorities are obliged for organization of them to develop to rural venues; therefore, Preston nature are demolished. For instance, in the last decade, in Tehran, governments have been encountered with lack of apartments due to immigration of villager teenagers, thus, they had to extend cities toward rural area and this item was caused many wonderful spots were knocked down for constructing skyscrapers which youngsters had had for living, also they could expolite various urban amenities. In conclusion, distinct things in towns are caused many villager youths emigrate to megacities. I believe that this topic have negative effect on environment especially
Nowadays, immigration to suitable places is the most significant item in over the world. A number of youngsters who
are born
in countryside
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
megacities
. This view has disparate
Possible spelling mistake found.
reseans
. In this essay, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
one cause for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
also
I deem that this subject
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
drawback.

All facilities have
been devoted
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
megapolises
. In fact, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
no longer focus on agriculture venues like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
. To more explanation, the whole of amenities, such as equipped hospitals, modern gyms, and recreational activities are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, whereas youths who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in villages no longer access to them.
Therefore
, they
are obliged
to go to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
which they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those facilities as the young who are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
.
For example
, in 2009, in Iran, the authorities preferred to spend budget for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
spots,
as a result
villager youths made a plan to emigrate to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in order to in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
venues did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
recourses for calmness.

Furthermore
, there is one main weakness about immigration of youngsters, including distraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas.
In other words
, when these individuals decide to settle in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, other members of the family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to these places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the family would almost always have close relationships with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
together and
they are not able to be
further
from each other since these spots
are filled
of ones and the authorities
are obliged
for organization of them to develop to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
venues;
therefore
, Preston nature
are demolished
.
For instance
, in the last decade, in Tehran,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have
been encountered
with lack of apartments due to immigration of villager
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
,
thus
, they had to extend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
area and this item
was caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wonderful spots
were knocked
down for constructing skyscrapers which youngsters had had for living,
also
they could
Possible spelling mistake found.
expolite
various urban amenities.

In conclusion
, distinct things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
are caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
villager youths emigrate to
Possible spelling mistake found.
megacities
. I believe that
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "this topic has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this topic have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on environment
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
especially
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IELTS essay Many young people who are born in rural areas move to cities. What are the causes? Is it negative or positive?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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