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Some people prefer to help or support directly in the local community for people who need it; however, others prefer to give money to the national or internet charities. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Some people prefer to help or support directly in the local community for people who need it; however, others prefer to give money to the national or internet charities. BEN9
It is considered by some that local companies are preferable for assisting exact individuals who need it, while there are others who think giving money to these people through national or internet organizations is fruitful for community. In my opinion, I believe that there are plenty of benefits of direct donation for community. On the one hand, I believe that direct support is beneficial for people who are in need. Proponents of this view believe that these companies do not depend on other organizations including national and internet charities. The poor as well as individuals who need financial help more are assisted by them in time. Take, martyr family for example, if the all members of family whose breadwinner is martyr suffer from poverty, local communities can early help these families without getting any permission from other ones. However, it is also believed that the majority of charitable places do not absorb donors’ money. Thus the fairness of their charities and aids is accepted by local community who rely on charity’s kindness. On the other hand, it is argued that giving money to the national or internet charities is acceptable way for population. First and foremost, supporting through public companies is not reliable for poor people. They mostly spend the donating money for their benefits instead of transferring the support to the citizens. Secondly, there are plethora of bunches of online or public aid organizations for sharing responsibilities in this work. Their employers are overloaded with defining the increasing number of individuals who need much more help. In conclusion, despite different view mentioned above, I believe that helping or supporting directly in the local community for cities who need it is more desirable.
It
is considered
by
some
that
local
companies
are preferable for assisting exact individuals
who
need
it, while there are others
who
think
giving
money
to these
people
through national or internet organizations is fruitful for
community
. In my opinion, I
believe
that there are
plenty
of benefits of direct donation for community.

On the one hand, I
believe
that direct support is beneficial for
people
who
are in
need
. Proponents of this view
believe
that these
companies
do not depend on
other
organizations including national and internet
charities
. The poor
as well
as individuals
who
need
financial
help
more
are assisted
by them in time. Take, martyr family
for example
, if the all members of family whose breadwinner is martyr suffer from poverty,
local
communities
can early
help
these families without getting any permission from
other
ones.
However
, it is
also
believed that the majority of charitable places do not absorb donors’
money
.
Thus
the fairness of their
charities
and aids is
accepted
by
local
community
who
rely on
charity’s
kindness.

On the
other
hand, it
is argued
that giving
money
to the national or internet
charities
is
acceptable
way for population.
First
and foremost, supporting through public
companies
is not reliable for poor
people
. They
mostly
spend the donating
money
for their benefits
instead
of transferring the support to the citizens.
Secondly
, there are plethora of bunches of online or public aid organizations for sharing responsibilities in this work. Their employers
are overloaded
with defining the increasing number of individuals
who
need
much more
help
.

In conclusion
, despite
different
view mentioned above, I
believe
that helping or supporting
directly
in the
local
community
for cities
who
need
it is more desirable.
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IELTS essay Some people prefer to help or support directly in the local community for people who need it; however, others prefer to give money to the national or internet charities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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