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Nowadays some countries should encourage people to buy more and more products, which is good for economy. While others believe it is bad for the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays some countries should encourage people to buy more and more products, which is good for economy. While others believe it is bad for the society. 3rEY
There is a debatable issue at the moment that some people think that purchasing a plethora of items should be given an incentive to people by countries since it is useful for the state economy. However, the other part of the people believes that more consumption is not good for society. In my opinion, buying more and more products can cause negative aspects for society and the economy. There are 2 main trends why getting a plethora of outputs is more essential in the state economy. First of all, it boosts up the state budgets and also helps with the opportunities of the best living quality. Take the USA, for example, people purchase more daily and general products than other countries. That is why the state budget is higher, and it helps people to live in good quality. Secondly, it increases the job opportunities that also influence the economy in a good way. It is believed that which country's unemployment rate is lower, it has significant economics. As we know, Japan has a high rank for its improvements, economics related to the low unemployment rate. On the other hand, some of them believe that the purchasing process of many objects has drawbacks. Consumption a lot demands more money, and it can cause depression for poor people. People intend to earn sufficient money to buy extra things according to this view, they agree to work long hours, even if they work at night, some people have no rest of the time, it causes psychological or healthy problems. Moreover, buying a plethora of products can cause money devaluation, it is the worst thing for countries, societies. Purchasing more and more items demands making a lot of money, and it causes the devaluation of money. In the past, in Germany, it happened, and people burned their money to keep warm. In conclusion, while others consider that getting more and more products can be useful for the economic issues, but I believe that it has enough drawbacks, and it should be balanced for each country.
There is a debatable issue at the moment that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that purchasing a plethora of items should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an incentive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
since it is useful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
economy.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believes that more consumption is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for society. In my opinion, buying more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects for society and the economy.

There are 2 main trends why getting a plethora of outputs is more essential in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
economy.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it boosts up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
budgets and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
with the opportunities of the best living quality. Take the USA,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
more daily and general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
That is
why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
budget is higher, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality.
Secondly
, it increases the job opportunities that
also
influence the economy in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way. It
is believed
that which country's unemployment rate is lower, it has significant economics. As we know, Japan has a high rank for its improvements, economics related to the low unemployment rate.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them believe that the purchasing process of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
objects has drawbacks. Consumption a lot demands more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, and it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
depression for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
intend to earn sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
extra things according to this view, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to work long hours, even if they work at night,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no rest of the time, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
psychological or healthy problems.
Moreover
, buying a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
devaluation, it is the worst thing for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, societies. Purchasing more and more items demands making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
the devaluation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In the past, in Germany, it happened, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
burned their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
warm.

In conclusion
, while others consider that getting more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can be useful for the economic issues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
drawbacks, and it should
be balanced
for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays some countries should encourage people to buy more and more products, which is good for economy. While others believe it is bad for the society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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