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Medical services should be run by profit-making company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Medical services should be run by profit-making company. 136y
Some people consider that private hospitals should manage medical care. While I agree that controlling medical maintenance by the owner company has some benefits, also I believe that it has some drawbacks. I agree that conducting by a profit-making company has mainly two benefits. Firstly, the private hospitals have cutting-edge, modern devices, utilizes than local clinics. Since they earn sufficient money to provide new, modern instruments, related to the higher number of prices. Secondly, it can increase the job opportunities for educated, well-rounded, and specialized doctors, nurses to supply the best quality. The staff in privately owned clinics is kind and willing to care for the patients there because they get a high salary than public hospitals. In my opinion, it is the main cause why most people prefer to go to this kind of clinic instead of state hospitals. I also think that caregiver services that running by private companies has a plethora of drawbacks. The costs are higher in this model of places and it is not suitable for everyone. Take poor people, for example, they can not afford the expenditures according to the medical services. Moreover, it can face difficulties about an understanding of the medical necessity, not money importance. Unfortunately, doctors in private hospitals see the patients as the source of income and it can reduce the trust or faith in the medics. In conclusion, the process of driving medical services by the owner company can cause some advantages and disadvantages. I believe that it should be balanced and the number of private and public hospitals should be the same.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
should manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
care. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
maintenance by the owner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits,
also
I believe that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that conducting by a profit-making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has
mainly
two benefits.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
have cutting-edge, modern devices, utilizes than local clinics. Since they earn sufficient money to provide new, modern instruments, related to the higher number of prices.
Secondly
, it can increase the job opportunities for educated, well-rounded, and specialized doctors, nurses to supply the best quality. The staff in
privately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
clinics is kind and willing to care for the patients there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high salary than public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
. In my opinion, it is the main cause why most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to go to this kind of clinic
instead
of state hospitals.

I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that caregiver services that running by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
has a plethora of drawbacks. The costs are higher in this model of places and it is not suitable for everyone. Take poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
for example
, they can not afford the expenditures according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
services.
Moreover
, it can face difficulties about an understanding of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
necessity, not money importance. Unfortunately, doctors in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the patients as the source of income and it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the trust or faith in the medics.

In conclusion
, the process of driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
services by the owner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages. I believe that it should
be balanced
and the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
and public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
should be the same.
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IELTS essay Medical services should be run by profit-making company.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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