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Some people prefer to help by making Donations to Local Charities while some prefer to Donate to National & International Organizations. Discuss both measures and give your opinion

Some people prefer to help by making Donations to Local Charities while some prefer to Donate to National & International Organizations. Discuss both measures and give your opinion ErPq
Helping others is important. Some individuals go to local charities and helps directly to needy people. Some of them donate to national and international organizations. There are advantages for both approaches If we are directly in touch with the needy then there are no chances of corruption or misusing the money for other purposes. Helping people around us and giving them a better life is essential. First, we need to think about our society before nation.
Helping others is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals go to local charities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
directly
to needy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them donate to national and international organizations. There are advantages for both approaches

If we are
directly
in touch with the needy then there are no chances of corruption or misusing the money for other purposes. Helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around us and giving them a better life is essential.
First
, we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about our society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
nation.
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IELTS essay Some people prefer to help by making Donations to Local Charities while some prefer to Donate to National & International Organizations. Discuss both measures and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
76 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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