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Many people think technological devices such as smart phones, tablets and mobile phones bring more disadvantages than advantages, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people think technological devices such as smart phones, tablets and mobile phones bring more disadvantages than advantages, L6Q1
Advancement in technology has abruptly changed people’s way of living in this modern world and utilization of smart technological devices like smart phones, smart watches, and tablets is augmenting briskly which has turned out to be very advantageous to people. However, myriad people hold an opinion that this adaption has more demerits when compared to its merits. I partially agree to this viewpoint of people. Smart devices provide ease and comfort to people in their day to day life: Banking – payments made easy; e-commerce – effortless buying and selling of goods; Social media – instant communication and many more. Important transactions and several decisions can be made in just a single click. Automation on various tasks is augmenting by alleviating manual and physical intervention. For instance, confusion while navigating to some unknown places or ambiguous path is not an issue now. The process of finding the stolen or lost devices is simplified. All thanks to the GPS system on the smart devices. Moreover, there is no need of iterative visits to banks and ATMs as various useful smart phone driven applications have been developed that supports e-wallets and e-banking. Also, many other applications have developed for students which improve their productivity and knowledge. On the contrary, various technological devices have been disadvantageous for people to some extent. Extensive use of smart phones cause today’s youth to lose interest in social and family life. It is responsible for making people lazy and thereby, resulting into manifold detrimental ailments due to obesity. Furthermore, if correct use of applications is not made individuals can become less innovative. For instance, addiction towards several online games has resulted into dwindling interest of youth towards academics. To conclude, each and every advantageous asset has sort of cons if misused. There is nothing wrong in using smart, advance and progressive technological devices but excessive and incorrect utilization of these gadgets can have its adverse affects too. So, wise usage of technology should be patronized.
Advancement in technology has
abruptly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
way of living in this modern world and utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
phones,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
, and tablets is augmenting
briskly
which has turned out to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
advantageous to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, myriad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold an opinion that this adaption has more demerits when compared to its merits. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this viewpoint of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and comfort to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life: Banking
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
payments made easy; e-commerce
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
effortless buying and selling of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
; Social media
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
instant communication and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Important
transactions and several decisions can
be made
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a single click. Automation on various tasks is augmenting by alleviating manual and physical intervention.
For instance
, confusion while navigating to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unknown places or ambiguous path is not an issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. The process of finding the stolen or lost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
is simplified
. All thanks to the GPS system on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
.
Moreover
, there is no need of iterative visits to banks and ATMs as various useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
phone driven applications have
been developed
that supports e-wallets and e-banking.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other applications have developed for students which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their productivity and knowledge.

On the contrary
, various technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
have been disadvantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. Extensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
phones cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s youth to lose interest in social and family life. It is responsible for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lazy and thereby, resulting into manifold detrimental ailments due to obesity.
Furthermore
, if correct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of applications is not made individuals can become less innovative.
For instance
, addiction towards several online games has resulted into dwindling interest of youth towards academics.

To conclude
, each and every advantageous asset has sort of cons if misused. There is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
in using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
, advance and progressive technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
excessive and incorrect utilization of these gadgets can have its adverse affects too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, wise usage of technology should
be patronized
.
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IELTS essay Many people think technological devices such as smart phones, tablets and mobile phones bring more disadvantages than advantages,

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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