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Some people prefer to have temporary jobs, which means they only work a few months in a year and use the rest of the time to do what they want. What is your opinion?

People now are experiencing stressful workload and lack of relaxing time. From my perspective, I agree with this statement and encourage people to seek for unfixed job opportunities. Here are some reasons regarding my opinion. First and foremost, people could choose which kinds of temporary jobs they like occasionally so that allow them to acquire knowledge and skills they are more interested in. As for fixed jobs, working content and responsibilities are usually unchangeable so that people would find themselves get used to the work and lose ambition to obtain skills not related to it. On the contrary, if people occasionally find jobs they keen on, which are not permanent, they could experience different working environment and naturally develop other ability. For example, as for those who are passionate about music, they would have broader views of music kingdom if they do not just listen to their companies and stay in one stadium composing, fixing themselves on a specific type of music and work responsibility. Another significance is that people could choose how long the temporary work last so that they could make arrangement freely. When people signing a contract with company, the working time is settled, and those temporary jobs usually last shorter so that people could decided carefully what to do next basing on their working feelings. That is to say, if an employee find himself not suitable for this job, he could quit this job in a short time and try other work next time without annoying his supervisor. Furthermore, people could arrange for whatever they like between two jobs such as family visiting, travelling and volunteering, without waiting for a short vocation for the whole year. In conclusion, I firmly believe that finding temporary jobs could help people seek for their interests and develop skills they find themselves more suitable during experiencing, compared to permanently fixed job. (311 words)
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People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are experiencing stressful workload and lack of relaxing
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time
. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and encourage
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people
to seek for unfixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities. Here are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons regarding my opinion.

First
and foremost,
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people
could choose which kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temporary
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jobs
they like
occasionally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to acquire knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
they are more interested in. As for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
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working
content and responsibilities are
usually
unchangeable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
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people
would
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find
themselves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the
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work
and lose ambition to obtain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
not related to it.
On the contrary
, if
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people
occasionally
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find
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jobs
they keen on, which are not permanent, they could experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment and
naturally
develop other ability.
For example
, as for those who are passionate about music, they would have broader views of music kingdom if they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
listen to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and stay in one stadium composing, fixing themselves on a specific type of music and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
responsibility.

Another significance is that
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people
could choose how long the
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temporary
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work
last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could
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make
arrangement
freely
. When
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people
signing a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
contract


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
with
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company
, the
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working
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time
is settled
, and those
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temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
usually
last shorter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
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people
could
The modal verb ‘could’ requires the verb’s base form.
decided
carefully
what to do
next
basing on their
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working
feelings.
That is
to say, if an employee
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find
himself not suitable for this
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job
, he could quit this
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job
in a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and try other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without annoying his supervisor.
Furthermore
,
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people
could arrange for whatever they like between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
such as family visiting, travelling and volunteering, without waiting for a short vocation for the whole year.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seek for their interests and develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
themselves more suitable during experiencing, compared to
permanently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. (311 words)
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IELTS essay Some people prefer to have temporary jobs, which means they only work a few months in a year and use the rest of the time to do what they want. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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