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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

There is a common saying in some cultures that everything is achievable if the children work hard regarding the goal. In real life this is a controversial potic and there are some advantages and disadvantages related to this topic. On the one hand, the message, anything is achievable if children try hard, is inspiring to the children and it makes the young people to work hard in real life to achieve something. The good side is, it makes the new generation hard working provising the message regarding achieve something. For example, the students who want to be a doctor or engineer, spend more time in their studies than their peers. Moreover, we people fix our future goal at the very beginning of our life and the saying pushes the young pupil to set this kind goals and achieve it anyway. Mental strength, Finally, is kind of power that help us out to do something special in our life. The saying makes our mental strength more powerful as it uses as motivational speace. On the other hand, every single people have their own ability to do something special in their respective field. The saying creates pressure for the people while we do want to be something else than our expertised field. In this way, the young people work whole heartedly but finally they become dishearted and do not want to work anymore for their right sector. In conclusion, the saying regarding to the young children that anything is gettable if they work reallly hard. This saying has some good points while it has a few bad sides as well.
There is a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saying
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures that everything is achievable if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
regarding the goal. In real
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life
this is a controversial
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potic
and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages related to this topic.

On the one hand, the message, anything is achievable if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
, is inspiring to the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
in real
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life
to achieve
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something
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
side is, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the new generation
This adjective is spelled with a hyphen or as one word.
hard working
Possible spelling mistake found.
provising
the message
Probably a preposition is missing after ‘regarding’.
regarding achieve
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something
.
For example
, the students who want to be a doctor or engineer, spend more time in their studies than their peers.
Moreover
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
our future goal at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beginning of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saying
pushes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
pupil to set this kind goals and achieve it anyway. Mental strength,
Finally
, is kind of power that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us out to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
special in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our mental strength more powerful as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
as motivational
Possible spelling mistake found.
speace
.

On the other hand
, every single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ability to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
special in their respective field. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saying
creates pressure for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
while we do want to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
else than our
Possible spelling mistake found.
expertised
field. In this way, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
whole
heartedly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
finally
they become
Possible spelling mistake found.
dishearted
and do not want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
anymore for their right sector.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saying
The phrase ‘regarding to’ is not correct. Use “regarding” or “regard to”.
regarding to
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that anything is
Possible spelling mistake found.
gettable
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
reallly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saying
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points while it has a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sides
as well
.
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IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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